


Everything Is Grey

by Otakumikulovinggamer4life



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Akane and Fuyuhiko are the besties, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hajime and Ibuki are close friends, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Celestia Ludenberg/Kyouko Kirigiri, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Touko Fukawa/Komaru Naegi, Lots of Angst, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 38,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otakumikulovinggamer4life/pseuds/Otakumikulovinggamer4life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I feel dead on the inside, I would've killed myself a long time ago if his words didn't ring so strong in my head. Besides, who am I to take my own life when they might not get theirs back? I hadn't even realized that I somehow managed to wander my way here, looking down at his face. I can feel myself smile despite the bags that have made their home under my bloodshot eyes. Suddenly, broken memories come flooding my hazy mind. Of bashful smiles and rollercoaster rides, exploring a beautiful island with an accidental brush of fingers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying ;;3;;

Everything is grey...

It's the same way, every single day. I feel nothing anymore, I'm numb and I can't help but to wonder if it was worth it... We sit around and wait, the others and I but I like to sit on the beach and watch the crashing waves. Sometimes it lulls me to sleep with tears on my face, I can see red eating away at the horizon of our blue, blue sky. It tells me just how far we are away from the world's pandemonium and death...

I feel dead on the inside, I would've killed myself a long time ago if his words didn't ring so strong in my head. Besides, who am I to take my own life when they might not get theirs back? I hadn't even realized that I somehow managed to wander my way here, looking down at his face. I can feel myself smile despite the bags that have made their home under my bloodshot eyes. Suddenly, broken memories come flooding my hazy mind. Of bashful smiles and rollercoaster rides, exploring a beautiful island with an accidental brush of fingers. 

Then, flashes of fire tear through those foggy remembrances and I am met with images of dead bodies, people pleading for their lives, a bloodied sword that my father gave me. My eyes widen, I know it and I feel nauseous, absolutely nauseous. And a cackle, familiar yet so foreign echoes and I can't breathe. It feels like someone has their hands laced ever so tightly around my neck, and I'm scared. Adrenaline begins to rush through my veins, I start to cry as my heart feels like it's about to burst at any moment. I'm dizzy, maybe it's because of my lack of oxygen. Another flash, there for a mere second it seemed but it burned to look at. Him... He stood there with blood covering his arms and his boots... Before I realized it, before I could stop myself, a scream ripped from my throat. Green light, grey and white tile blurred in my vision as I felt myself begin to fall. Helpless I whisper, "Gundam..." 

 

I think, just before the world faded into a welcoming black, I heard a voice calling out my name... Who cares? My angel cannot reach me...

 

When I awoke, the very first thing I saw was Fuyuhiko standing over me. Unable to pretend to be cheery, I narrowed my eyes at him and groaned, the light is too bright. He's not who I want to see, without thinking, I say this aloud. He frowns at me, I've already grown tired of his face so I covered my eyes with my fragile, sun tanned arm. My ears are ringing and even after the dream I assume I had, the world hasn't changed one bit. Fuyuhiko calls for Hinata and Souda. I groan again, turning towards the window and away from the other. I see that the sun has begun to set, another day has gone past where I am alone. "Leave me alone..." I say, I sound pitiful. "Miss Sonia! Are you alright?,"I hear Souda inquire. I don't answer, I don't care enough.

It's almost like I can hear the frown on his idiotic face and I roll my eyes, "Just fine, thank you." A hand finds its way onto my arm, the warmth feels scalding, I almost flinch. "We understand if you need some time alone, Sonia." Hinata's voice is kind and calm, I feel myself start to relax. Despite this, I ask a somewhat jarring question, "When will someone wake up, Hinata?" With this I turn and look him in the eyes, searching for any hint that he may lie. It's still odd to look at Hinata now, his hair is silky and dark brown but with black roots that reach halfway down. And the startled eyes I bore into are crimson, he smiles sadly, "I... don't know." 

My heart still breaks pathetically, his answer never changes and with each day I lose hope. I don't tell anyone of this, I don't want them to think I'm falling into despair. But, I no longer know if I am or already have. I smile, it hurts, "I appreciate your honesty." I always have the same reply , I sit up and my blonde hair falls into my face. It's messy, I scratch my thigh absentmindedly. This isn't fun, I don't want to do this anymore... Waiting, I mean. 

I sighed and swung my legs over the hospital bed, ready to stand when Souda asks a question, "You sure you're ready to get up?" Of course I'm sure, I wouldn't have done so otherwise. I nod, politely and I stare at his grey hair. He looks away. Why? I don't know. 

I stand up, "Thank you for your concern. These memories..." I can hear Hinata hold his breath, so I speak quickly, "They really caught me off guard." I offer a laugh and the room relaxes. I begin to walk, "Who is making dinner tonight?" Such a casual question and Fuyuhiko huffs, "Me, I suppose. Technically it's Akane but we all know what happens when we let her cook." I laughed, perhaps that one was real. I hear the others following behind me as we go down the hallway. The tip and tap of shoes is nothing new, just a few pair of feet hoping for a few more to walk alongside with. 

"I hope it goes better than last time-" I'm interrupted by Akane flying into the hallway, she yells, "HELP ME COOK, BABY GANGSTA!" Akane is always upbeat. Or, at least, that's what I tell myself. Akane is human, even though her appetite most certainly is not, and she has more than one emotion. 

Fuyuhiko responds, "Help? You mean do all the damn work while you steal food the entire time?" Akane laughs, guilty. I glance back at Hinata, he's much quieter these days. It's like he's off in his own world, I wonder what he thinks about... Souda snorts, "What else could you expect? This is Akane we're talking about!" They all laugh and I join in, I always do this whether I'm humored or not. I finally join the conversation and find it's a great way to pass the time...

 

I eat my dinner without really tasting it. I honestly don't even know what I ate but whatever it was is earning Fuyuhiko a steady stream of compliments. I lie enough on a daily basis so I don't say a word, only watching. "I just used an old recipe," Fuyuhiko's gaze softens, "It's nothing special or fancy. Just something from home." Something Peko taught him, then. I say, "That makes it all the better." Akane comments, "I still can't believe you can cook in the first place!" Fuyuhiko retorts, "What's that supposed to mean?!" I stand up and yawn, "Goodnight, everyone. I'm retiring for the evening." 

Several "good nights" were said as I bowed, a habit I still can't break. I walk to my cottage, the cool air calms me. I sigh as I open the door, "Another day..." I say. I walk over to my bed, sitting down and looking out of the window. Pitch black... I look over at the mirror in my room, studying my own face like it's not my own. It almost isn't. I look dreadful and these scars don't help one bit. I growl. At who? Yet another thing I don't know. 

I ball my fists into my sheets, a vice like grip. Another sound of frustration escapes me. "I'm TIRED!" I shout. Tired of waiting, being lonely, these memories, this island, MYSELF. But I can't do anything about it. I fall back with an 'oomph' and stare at my dark ceiling until the weight on my eyelids is just too much to bear. I fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly, I slept through the night and awoke feeling as such. "Finally," I breathed, "A good night's sleep." As I lean up and stretch, there's a knock on my door. Hajime's voice further shreds my short lived silence, "Sonia, you up?" I clear my throat, "Yes, I'll be out in just a second. " Hajime responded, "Not trying to rush you but Aoi will be here soon." 
> 
> That's right...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day!!

Surprisingly, I slept through the night and awoke feeling as such. "Finally," I breathed, "A good night's sleep." As I lean up and stretch, there's a knock on my door. Hajime's voice further shreds my short lived silence, "Sonia, you up?" I clear my throat, "Yes, I'll be out in just a second. " Hajime responded, "Not trying to rush you but Aoi will be here soon." That's right... 

Aoi is the one Naegi usually sends to bring us supplies, I'd completely forgotten about today. Because of this I got dressed rather quickly, slipping on some black skinny jeans and a grey sweater. The early morning has a chill to it, I'm grateful for my outfit. 

I stand on the shore next to Hajime and Souda as a boat sails into sight. I think I asked for something... What was it..? Well, if I can't remember it it must not be of great importance. Soon, the boat was right on the shore almost. Aoi lowered the ramp and Hajime and I began to walk up it.

Aoi had several boxes next to her, she begun handing them to Hajime and Souda. She looked at me with this huge grin like she didn't have a care in the world. I smiled back. She handed my a small cage with a blue bottom. Inside it were three little hamsters and a gerbil. Oh, I remember now...

Last month I requested these because Hajime said Gundam showed signs of waking up soon. Well, we see that didn't happen... I glanced over behind her at a fluffy, black cat. "Is that for me as well?," I asked, had I wanted a cat too? Aoi replied, "No, that's Celes-," She shook her head, "Kirigiri's." I simply responded with, "Oh." 

Far off behind her I see a short, brown haired girl with a cover tied around her shoulders like a cape, "And ZeeZee ZOOMS out just in time to save-" The girl with round glasses and long, wild brown hair interrupts her, "That's too cliche, Komaru." Komaru, I guess, is quick to retort, "What's a good story without a few cliches?" The other says,"You already used your two cliches at the beginning. Try again." Komaru whined, "Touko~!" 

Touko doesn't budge and Komaru slides down onto the floor, dejected and Touko says, with a small smile, "I know you can do it." And just like that Komaru springs right back, I'm almost jealous. I heard Aoi say, "Is that all?" I nodded, "Yes, thank you." I looked at the two girls one last time before smiling at Aoi and walking down the platform, eying my new pets.

One hamster was black, one blonde and the other brown and white while the gerbil was dark brown. I couldn't tell their genders yet, though. I couldn't help but to make kissy faces at them, they're cute. I wouldn't mind having them around one bit. I skipped into the restaurant and began showcasing the animals, not really caring about Hajime and Souda's work.

"Have you named the damn things yet?," Fuyuhiko questions, he sounds irritated. I haven't, "Not yet. I've gotta see what we're dealing with here." "Dealing with?," Fuyuhiko raises an eyebrow. I smile at him, "To see who's a boy and who's a girl." He made a face of realization before asking yet another question, "You know how to do that?" I nod, smiling as I remember something fondly, "Yes, Gundam taught me." 

Fuyuhiko quiets, if he has anymore inquiries he doesn't voice them. I discover that two of the hamsters are male, one female and the gerbil is female, as well. I name the hamster with black fur Galaxy Wish, the one with blonde fur GDI, the one with brown and white fur Warrior Heart and the gerbil is named Dark Star-Nightly Curse or Star for short.

"How on earth are you going to remember that?, "Akane asks, waffle hanging out of her mouth. "Those names are fucking ridiculous, Sonia." Fuyuhiko comments. Souda says, "I don't know... They have an odd kind of charm, don't they? Hehe." I nod vigorously. I don't say it but I named them something Gundam wouldn't mind saying, maybe he'll even compliment the names.

Well, he might mind GDI. I chuckle to myself, the blonde fur reminded me of Fuyuhiko and myself. God Damn It is only befitting. These little guys and gals have significantly improved my day and even my mood. 

I want to talk to Gundam, so that's exactly what I do. I place my hand on the cool, green glass that separates us. I smile and hold up Galaxy Wish, "Gundam, look at what I got today! Her name is Galaxy Wish, isn't that hella awesome?" I continue without missing a beat, "Then, I named the gerbil specifically for you. Her name is Dark Star-Nightly Curse! I named one of the guys Warrior Heart, it kind of sounds like Sparkling Justice, doesn't it?" 

I feel a pang in my heart as I remember Peko's trial. I look over at her sleeping face. She looks so peaceful, grey locks framing her face perfectly. I shake my head, continuing my poor excuse of a conversation, "Scientists probably don't have time to look for new species or anything like that, anymore so I wonder how many new ones have popped up, don't you?"

I nod, responding for him, "I know you do. I bet they're all mutated because of toxic waste or something! But, even then they wouldn't scare you. Nothing scared you, especially animals. That's something I admire about you, Gundam." I smile, tears brimming in my eyes. "A few days ago a snake scared me... I do not think it was venomous but it suddenly hissed, I screamed. Hajime and the others thought something happened!"

"You probably would've laughed at me for being such a..." My tears fall onto the glass, "Cowardly mortal." Still, I smile before wiping my tears with my free hand. "I hope you're able to meet them all soon. I don't really know how to teach them any nifty tricks like the Devas knew." I laughed, nervously. "I'm sure you could do it."

My eyes slide shut, "I got some good sleep last night, I'm happy about that. I can't remember my dream, though. I wonder what type of things you dream about... Probably your empire, huh?" I nod, content with my own assumption, "Yeah."

"Did I ever ask you what your favorite color was, Gundam?, "I scratch the back of my neck, "If I did, forgive me for forgetting... You know, I told you mine." I open my eyes and focus on his eyelashes, "Purple or blue..? I couldn't choose."

Almost scared to gaze upon him as I said these words, I turned away, "Neither. I like everything being grey... At least, that's what I tell myself."

As I walk out of the door, Fuyuhiko enters with a small smile on his face. I linger outside the door for a few moments, I hear, "Everyone loved your recipe, Peko... I still can't do it just quite right. When you wake up, teach me, will you?" I sigh, walking with my eyes glued to the floor. It was bound to happen...

I bumped into someone. Galaxy Wish falls from my shoulder, I catch her in my hands. "Sorry." Hajime immediately apologizes. I do so as well, saying I wasn't paying attention. "Same, "he responds, sheepishly. I ask, though I fear what his answer may be, "What were you thinking about?" 

"Komaeda..., "he says, quietly. Quickly, he adds, "Just if his luck will wake him up!" I shrug, "Perhaps..." Hajime speaks, "Taking in everything we've been through, how the world is... It's no wonder he ended up clinging to hope like that, ya know?" Yeah, I want to reply, but I don't.

"His childhood has a part in it, as well, Hajime. His dementia, too." I see Hajime flinch at the mention of Komaeda's disease. I smile, fakely, "Everything is going to be alright." I feel like I'm lying.

Hajime, Akane, Fuyuhiko and Souda are all standing at the shore as the sun begins to set. I walk gingerly to join them, taking in the sight. It reminds me of when you'd see an old painting like this and it depresses you and you're not even sure why. It has the same emotional effect, too. Soon, I'm standing next to Souda.

We are all silent. Now that night has settled, it now marks the fourth month... None of us want to say it but it's scary. With each day our chances diminish. Yet, we all still hope. Why? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's because of Hajime or Naegi. I feel a laugh begin to bubble up in my chest, I repress it because that'd be weird.

What's funny, anyways? Our despair? Or our hope? Truly, either is laughable. I feel a hand on my shoulder, snatching me from my dark thoughts. I look up, met with Souda's worried gaze. I smile weakly at him, "Thank you." He just smiled back. I actually feel calmer, glad that my thoughts have been corralled. I look up at the starry night sky, it makes me think of Dark Star-Nightly Curse. 

Speaking of, my little friends are safe and sound in my cottage. Sleeping without a care in the world. My mind wanders back to Kirigiri's cat, I never thought she'd be an animal person. Wait, what had Aoi said before?

Ah, I remember. She started to say, "No, that's Celes." Celes...? Where have I heard that name before? It sounds vaguely familiar. The realization hits me hard, "Celes is Celestia Ludenberg." Several heads then in my direction, confused faces written on them all. Had I said that aloud? "Huh?" Akane says. I shake my head.

"No one, sorry. I was just thinking back on something." Fuyuhiko says, "Wasn't Celestia the name of one of the girls from the killing school life? With Naegi and the others?" I swallow thickly, feeling uneasy and I'm not sure why. "Yes, I believe so." I reply, it's quiet. My voice and everything around us. Without thinking, I tell them, "Kirigiri takes care of Celestia's cat, now, it would seem..." 

Hajime runs a hand through his hair, "That's nice of her..." Souda suddenly says, "It must be the only thing she has left of her." All of ours gazes snap in his direction, he visibly bristles,"Sorry, that was grim. " I continue with the topic anyway, "That and one of Celestia's hair ribbons."

"How do you know that?, "Akane inquires, curious. I focus on the waves, "Before they left, her and I had a talk. I saw the ribbon tied around her wrist, I was curious so I asked what it was..." There's an unanimous, "Oh." After a few moments of silence, I remark, "Kirigiri loved Celestia very much..." Everyone holds their breath.

I press on, selfishly, "Her execution was quite cruel... Unbefitting of a queen, Kirigiri says..." More silence. I don't speak again. I steal a few glances at the others, further saddening at their bewildered expressions. My God...

This is hopeless.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least, that's what I thought. Dreadful silence dispersed with the sound of blaring alarms. I turned around, panicked and startled, I'm sure I cursed. The room with our comatose friends is flashing light and we all look at each other, eyes wide with realization. My legs begin moving on their own, running as fast as they can carry me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop, third chapter. And OMFG FOUR KUDOS, y'all made me squeal and almost cry tears of joy in class. And 49 hits, ayoo!! Enjoy this chapter, it was fun to write!

This is hopeless..

At least, that's what I thought. Dreadful silence dispersed with the sound of blaring alarms. I turned around, panicked and startled, I'm sure I cursed. The room with our comatose friends is flashing light and we all look at each other, eyes wide with realization. My legs begin moving on their own, running as fast as they can carry me.

My heart is pounding in my ears, air stinging my eyes and burning my throat as I gasp for it, my mind is racing just as fast as I am. Who is it?! Who's waking up?! Could it be Gundam?! I'm praying, hoping, that it's him. We can be reunited. I can thank him, hold him, TALK TO HIM! I want to see him awake and okay, that's what keeps me running.

The next thing I know is that I'm blinded by red and white lights, I can barely hear my own thoughts over the sound of the alarms, I'm suffocated by fog. I cover my mouth, looking around frantically. I can't tell what's going on! In desperation I yell out, "GUNDAM?!" Fuyuhiko calls out to Peko, I feel a body push past my own.

I know this room by heart, I trust my instincts to lead me towards Gundam. I make it to where he's supposed to be, waiting for me. I see nothing, I feel all over still closed glass. I feel my heart drop, "Gundam..?" My vision finally clears...

There lays my prince, still asleep peacefully. I feel disappointment and I hate myself for it, I should be happy that anyone is waking up, but I can't help it. Angry tears spill over as I ball my fists up, "Dammit!" I shout. I hear coughing to my right, it sounds like a girl. I turn around, seeing Fuyuhiko to my left, staring at the sleeping Peko with a lost look on his face. 

I call out to him, "Fuyuhiko! This way!" I say as I start going towards the coughing. My heart rate kicks up again, who'd woken up? I'll get my answer soon. I see the silhouette of Hajime standing in front of a pod, it looks open. I hear him speak in a shakey voice...

"Ibuki...?". Admittedly, I grimace, someone who'd been murdered was awake. The lights stop rather abruptly. I stare at the girl with wide eyes, frozen and unsure of how to react or what to say. She blinks at us, Hajime slowly reaches out, "Ibuki... It's Hajime, remember?" She doesn't reply. She looks at me, I take a step back. 

Slowly, she places a hand on the side of her head, coughing again. She closes her eyes, Hajime dares to put a hand on her shoulder. Ibuki doesn't move away, she reopens her eyes and looks at us again. Her eyes light up as she smiles widely, "Hey, guys!"

We all sigh in relief, she hadn't reverted back into a Remnant of Despair. Hajime smiled back, tears of joy brimming, "Hey... Glad to have you back." Ibuki swung her legs over, trying to stand. Souda assists her, we all walk slowly to the infirmary. "What do you remember?, "Fuyuhiko asks. Ibuki looks like she's trying to think before she holds her head and winces.I immediately say, "It's okay, don't push yourself. Let's get you situated first." 

 

I helped the others bring Ibuki into the infirmary and put her into bed, I'd be lying if I said I've calmed down. My heart is still pounding and my mind is racing. Someone finally woke up, finally, FINALLY! Maybe this wasn't so hopeless, after all. There still is hope! I won't give up!

Hajime looks at Ibuki with eyes full of fondness and warmth, a gentle smile gracing his face. They stare at each other for a moment before Ibuki breaks out into a grin and lunges forward, hugging Hajime tightly. A few stray tears fall down the girl's face, at least, I think so-my vision is still blurry.

Ibuki leans back, cupping the other's face in her hands, still smiling. "Nom?," She states like a question. "Nom.," Hajime replies, laughing a little. My heart flutters and I get a warm feeling, I smile as well. "How are you feeling?," Hajime's voice is low, quiet and soft. "Ibuki is A-OK!, "She responds back, loud and upbeat and in harsh contrast.

I grab two chairs from the wall behind me and drag them over to the two, Hajime sits down and grabs Ibuki's hand. "Are you sure? If something hurts, you gotta tell me." Ibuki nods, "I know but I'm okay, I swear!" Just as she said this the door to the room swung open and a delicious aroma hit me.

I turned my head and say Fuyuhiko and Akane standing with several trays of fresh and gourmet looking food with smiles on their faces, Fuyuhiko's much more shy than Akane's. Akane speaks first, "I hope you're hungry, Ibuki!" Said girl cheers and claps. Hajime interrupts, "Uh, shouldn't she be eating... I don't know, hospital food almost?" 

Akane looked offended, "I would neva feed you guys that slop!!" Souda responds, "It doesn't matter if you think it's slop, it's what people in the hospital are SUPPOSED to eat, Akane." Said girl shrugs, walking over and handing her tray to our freshly awoken friend anyways. Hajime sighs, knowing it's useless.

This is Akane and we're talking about food, there will be no convincing her. Ibuki just grinned, that aspect of her hadn't changed one bit. But, it was only now that I was really looking at her. 

Her hair had been cut above shoulder length and the pink dye had been replaced with red, she had a scar going down her right eye and she was wearing a top similar to Junko's and a short black and white skirt that showed off a peculiar looking spot on her thigh. It was shaped like a box and looked like someone else's skin had been sewn there, I shuddered.

But, her grin was the same and so was her enthusiasm. Her eyes still held that friendly warmth to them, Ibuki ate at lightning speed. She must've been hungry. "Slow down before you choke!," Hajime scolded, repressing a laugh. Ibuki mumbled something with a mouth full of food, "M not gerna choke."

She was right because she didn't choke, if she did I couldn't tell. She looked at the door, staring Fuyuhiko down. She extended her arms, grabbing at air with her hands, "Give Ibuki more food!" Hajime shook his head," Don't give that to her, she's going to make herself sick-"

"LIES!! Ibuki NEVER gets sick!" Souda says, "You told me one time that you used to lick door handles so I find that hard to believe." Ibuki paused, a blush creeping up from her neck to the tips of her ears, "I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE!!" Souda just laughs, as do I. "Awe, gross."

"In my defense, Ibuki was only ten!, "Ibuki says. "Ten...? Ibuki, that's way too damn old to still be doing shit like that!," Fuyuhiko remarks and Souda agrees. "Only do stuff like that if somebody's gonna pay ya!, "Akane reprimanded. I sigh in relief, happy that the dreadful air that had hung itself around us was gone.

I'm glad we got someone like Ibuki back, someone who can brighten up all of our moods. Especially Hajime's, with that thought I stand. "Maybe we should give these two some alone time., "I state causing everyone to look at me. Souda grins, "Why, yes, of course~!" He coos childishly. Fuyuhiko shrugs and Akane is already half way out the door when she shouts, "Make sure Ibuki brushes 'er teeth before y'all jus' start kissin'!" 

Hajime spluttered, blushing, "O-OF COURSE!!" He catches himself, "No, wait, I don't mean-" It's too late as Souda is howling in laughter and I am giggling. We leave them alone, I wonder what they did or talked about. I shrug, it's not any of business.

Souda, Fuyuhiko, Akane and I are all sitting at the table. The room is filled with our absentminded chatter before the doors swing open to reveal Hajime and Ibuki. Ibuki skips over to the table and plops down. "So, what're we talking about?" "Nothin' really, "Souda and Akane reply in unison. Fuyuhiko places his drink down, looking Hajime in the eyes. Hajime nods.

"Ibuki... What do you remember..?," He asks almost as if he is afraid to. Ibuki stops smiling causing my heart to drop, she looks at her lap with determined eyes. "I remember when we first got to the island.... And I remember what Monomi told us about the hope fragments, but then..." She frowns

"I remember Monokuma told us that we had to kill to get off the island..." Hajime inquires, "Do you remember who was killed first?" Ibuki nods, "If Ibuki remembers correctly, it was Togami, wasn't it?" We all nod, she continues, "And TeruTeru was the murderer... And then he got... executed..." the last word was whispered as a stray tear fell down her cheek.

Hajime and I put a reassuring hand on both of her shoulders, "It's okay. What else do you remember?" Ibuki takes a deep and shakey breath, "Then we all tried to forget what happened because we went out with fireworks and Sonia... You said all the girls should go swimming the next day..."

Fuyuhiko looks away, knowing what was coming next. "So, we all came except... Mahiru and Hiyoko..?" I nod. "And Akane was late because she was training with Nekomaru and, " she let out a hoarse laugh, "Ibuki remembers that Souda and Hajime managed to worm their way in." Hajime smiled, fondly remembering Souda's perverted schemes. 

"And then, we saw... we saw Hiyoko run away from the beach house... A-and, Peko came in from another swim, right..?" Ibuki balled her fists up, more tears falling as she grit her teeth. Fuyuhiko shakes his head and Ibuki lets out a broken sob, "We found Ma-Mahiru's body... e-everything was so bloody..."

I moved my hand from her shoulder to the girl's back, rubbing in calming circles. "A-and Ibuki remembers thinking, this has gotta be a joke... Mahiru is gonna jump up any second now and tell Hajime he was such a wimp... B-but she didn't... And I realized... this was all real-"

"But, it wa-" Souda starts but Hajime shushes him, "Another time, Souda." Ibuki looks up at them before closing her eyes, " that this was all real... That we were going to have another one of those God awful trials!!" Ibuki started to breathe heavily, "Another trial to kill one of our friends...! And I didn't wanna believe that Hiyoko did it but then..."

"Then?" I asked. "Then... Peko... Peko, she said she was... Glittering Justice, or somethin' wild like that." Ibuki laughed before catching herself, "Sorry... And we all voted her as the killer but Ibuki remembers... Fuyuhiko kept saying it wasn't Peko, it wasn't Peko..." I hadn't even realized that she had begun rocking back and forth, "I didn't want it to be anybody... But then the truth came out and Ibuki cried. Ibuki remembers that Fuyuhiko didn't want Peko to be his... tool, I think, I don't know..."

"Bu-but, Monokuma sent Peko off to her execution a-anyways... And, "she looked at Fuyuhiko shyly, " Fuyuhiko ran in... And Peko cut him by accident... a-and Peko, she..." Fuyuhiko put an arm over his eyes, finishing for Ibuki, "Died protecting me."  
Ibuki bit her lip, nodding. She looked up at Hajime, "And he was hurt real bad... We had to take him to the hospital and everything, Mikan had to take care of..."

Ibuki's eyes widened as she visibly jumped, "Mikan...! Mikan, she-she...! Wait, how am I..? Ho-how am I ? Ibuki was murdered!" She stood up, covering her ears and shaking her head, "Ibuki is supposed to be DEAD! Ibuki is, what am I?!" Hajime jumped up, trying to grab the yelling girl but she snatched away from him which surprised all of us.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!, "She screamed, covering her face, "WHERE AM I?!" Hajime lunged forwards and pulled Ibuki into a hug, "Ibuki, calm down! It's okay, we're going to explain everything, okay? We just need you to calm down and tell what you remember." The girl heaved, "But I'm..." Hajime placed his ear right over her heart,

"You're alive, Ibuki."

 

She looked down at Hajime with wide eyes, tears still flowing, she nodded numbly. She placed a hand over her heart and found that it was pounding from adrenaline and fear. Despite this, she slowly sat back down, shaking a little and toying with her fingers, "Ibuki's sorry, I just..." "There is no need to apologize."I tell her in no uncertain terms. "Where was I..? Ri-right, so Mikan she helped Fuyuhiko... He had to have an eyepatch 'nd Hiyoko made this awesome shrine for Mahiru... But everybody thought it was creepy or like a curse or somethin'."

"Then... Fuyuhiko pulled that crazy stunt and put himself right back on the hospital!" Ibuki declared, eyes lighting up, "But, then after that... Monokuma gave us another motive... Something about a disease, everything's fuzzy... Ibuki just remembers being in a hospital and Mikan was lookin' after me and... who?"

"Me 'nd Nagito.," Akane told. Ibuki nods, "Yeah.. And I remember Mikan waking me up.. She told me she needed to perform another test... And I said yes... And then she stuck this needle in my arm, and I don't know why but I didn't stop her when she pulled out that rope. No, I just said okay when she told me to stay still..."  
"It's because you had Gullible Disease. "Hajime informs her but gets nothing but a confused look for a response. Ibuki continues, "But.. it was early, or late, it was still dark out... And I was real tired... And she laughed, Ibuki started to cry."

"On the inside I was screaming, I didn't want to die, everything was fuzzy... then, there was this sensation around my neck and an odd moment of clarity... I remember I was getting a necklace... Then, everything went black."

"Is that all?,"I urge. Ibuki shakes her head, "No... It was just black for a long time and I felt like I was floating and then softly I hit the floor... I stood up, still dark. So, I just wandered around. Every now and then a memory would play across the never ending world in front of me."

"But I couldn't laugh, cry, anything. No matter what." Fuyuhiko eagerly asks, "What made you wake up?!" We all look at him with slightly disapproving gazes, he slowly sinks back down in his chair. Ibuki started, "Well, I told you... I couldn't talk or anything... And I woke up because....

"I really wanted to sing."

We all looked at her timid smile and knew she wasn't lying. 

In the end, we all stayed up the entire night talking with Ibuki. She told us everything she'd remembered while in her coma while we told her the truth of our situation. I made sure to tell her, "Mikan didn't WANT to kill you, she'd gotten a disease herself. She was infected by Junko's despair."


	4. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hear a broken sob before I can start my own crying. My eyes slowly scan the room as Hajime rubs his eyes feverishly yet unable to stop the tears. It startled me a little, to see him crying like that. Before I even realized what I was doing, I ran over and hugged him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry

Ibuki had only been around for five days but the general mood of everyone has improved greatly. I look forward to her smiling face as I walk towards the dining hall. On second thought, let me tell Gundam the good news.

I stroll into the room with a lazy smile on my face but I freeze when I hear sobbing. I take a shakey step forward, unable to call out. I see a silhouette in the back left corner, it's a girl. I continue walking, quietly as not to disturb the person as I'm already intruding.

I hear a voice, "It's okay, I forgive you... Junko, she's made us ALL do crazy stuff. I'm sure I've... done the same thing to a lot of people, so Ibuki probably deserved it." My heart shatters as I can see Ibuki standing over the sleeping Mikan, crying with a forced smile.

"You're not the one in the wrong, okay...? You're always gonna be Ibuki's precious friend! If anything, I'M the one with the problem., " Ibuki laughs though it's quiet. I feel a tear slip down my cheek, without thinking I spoke, "Ibuki..." Said girl visibly jumped, quick to wipe her tears and force a laugh, "Yeah, what's up?"

"You don't have to force yourself to be happy, Ibuki., " I tell her. Ibuki shakes her head, "I AM happy, I mean, I'm alive! I thought I was dead! But..." I finish her thought, "You just want your friends to wake up?" She nods enthusiastically, "Very much."

I snake an arm around her shoulders and bring her in for a hug, "They will. I know they will. Just don't give up." Ibuki nods, "Mm..." I'll talk to Gundam later, I suppose. Ibuki and I start towards the exit, I shoot Gundam an apologetic smile even though I know it doesn't make a difference. We walk to the dining hall together, we're greeted as soon as we enter.

"Havin' girl bondin' time without me?!, " Akane jokes. "Ibuki will-" Souda interrupts with stars in his eyes, "Or maybe some secret girl-on-girl action?!" Hajime smacks him in the back of the head. Ibuki gasps, turning to me, "Is that so, Sonia?! I've always wanted to see those hips up close!"

I can feel myself blush, "IBUKI!" She just laughs all the same, "Perhaps you want me to start with those thighs, then?" Souda answers for me, "YES, PLEASE!" Hajime yells, "Stop being perverts!" And Fuyuhiko laughs, one of the cute ones that are rare to hear. We all pause in our tracks,

Ibuki looks at him with wide eyes and a blush dusting her cheeks, "Woah..." Fuyuhiko looks genuinely confused, "What...?" Ibuki roars, "IBUKI DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD LAUGH!!" And I laughed as Fuyuhiko made an odd face, it was like shock and anger's ugly baby.

"OF COURSE I CAN! What the hell is that 'posed to mean?!" Ibuki waves her hand, looking off to the side, "Nothing, nothing." Fuyuhiko shakes his head, "No way, I want to know, what are you tryna say?!" Ibuki plops down in her seat, "Ah..." She looks around with rather serious eyes before sighing again. Before anyone can ask what's troubling her, she spoke,

"It's just so empty without the others..."

Everyone was silent, tears pricked my eyes. "Six out of sixteen...," I mumbled. Hajime just seemed to stare at the floor and Akane was frozen. Fuyuhiko put an arm around Ibuki's shoulder while Souda just scratched his nose absentmindedly. My heart Is heavy... My eyes sting... It hurts... 

I hear a broken sob before I can start my own crying. My eyes slowly scan the room as Hajime rubs his eyes feverishly yet unable to stop the tears. It startled me a little, to see him crying like that. Before I even realized what I was doing, I ran over and hugged him.

Maybe it was to repay him for all the times he'd comforted me, I don't know. But I hugged with all the affection I have left in this raggedy, broken heart of mine. I felt him relax and his arms fell to his side, sobs racking his thin frame. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry...," he said.

What is he even apologizing for? God, who knows... But I feel arms wrap around me and I look to see that everyone has joined our hug. I look at Ibuki who is hugging Hajime from behind, her face looks mature which, to me ,is unusual. She speaks, "I woke up. We'll have a room full of people soon and you'll be wishing you enjoyed the silence."

Hajime nods numbly, hair swishing with the movement. I sigh, so much stress leave my body but so does my restraint. The tears run down my cheeks like a rusty faucet, hot and bitter. I can't help but wonder if we even deserve to cry and I hear Fuyuhiko whisper, "Don't apologize... It's not your fault..." 

Yes it is... Yes it is... If we hadn't been so weak, if only we had figured out the truth sooner... There are so many things we did wrong, hell, here I stand... 

Praying for a murderer's life.

At that thought my stomach lurches and I roughly wrestle out of the hug. Everyone looks at me with bewildered expressions. I shout, "WE'RE ALL A BUNCH OF MURDERERS!!" I feel so angry yet so sad and before anyone can say a word, if they did I didn't hear them, I took off. 

Those same damn salty tears are running down my face and snot is coming from my nose, I feel like a damn child but I keep running. I'm outside, the sun blinds me and all the smells make me cough. My lungs burn, it hurts. My legs hurt but I keep going. Where am I headed? Where can I go?! I can't go anywhere but I keep running!

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!!," I yell, at myself, at the others, at everything in sight. I bite my tongue, I taste blood and the next thing I know is that I'm falling. My feet are off the ground and the sand is getting closer. I brace myself, shutting my eyes. The pain is sharp and goes throughout my entire body, my head hurts. 

I start to cry in pain but for some reason... I get back up, paying no mind to bloody lip and bloodied knees, and run. I see the cottages and I gasp again and again. I CAN'T BREATHE!

My feet are padding against the wood and I reach out, no, I lunge forwards and throw my door open. Just as quickly, I'm inside and leaning on the closed door. Ever so slowly I slide down, and bury my head in my hands. "I hate this... I hate this so much... Why did I have to...? What's wrong with me?!?"

I make a noise of frustration as I dig my fingers into my golden locks and pull, it hurts but I do it anyway. I feel strands snap and I stop, my shaking hands pull in front of eyes and I see bloody nails and hair. "I deserve the pain...," I mumble just as there are several knocks on my door. I jump up and sprint to bed and back all the way to the wall.

There are more knocks before my doorknob turns, I relax when I see it's locked. "Sonia...," I hear Souda's voice. I have half a mind to tell him to fuck off but I bite my tongue, not a peep. "Sonia, please... I just want to talk.," he pleads. Who cares?

He doesn't know what I'm feeling, he didn't fall in love only to watch them die. He spent all his time... all his time... lusting after me! And for what?! Because I'm blonde?!? He doesn't care about me, the real me.... He doesn't even know me...

I hear a few squeaks and look over at my dresser, Galaxy Wish, GDI, Warrior Heart Dark Star-Nightly Curse are all running around excitedly as if they're trying to get my attention. I slowly stand on my shaking legs, knobby knees bumping into one another. I reach out and grab their cage, holding it up to my face. Warrior Heart wiggles his little pink nose and his whiskers dance.

I bring the cage back to my bed and open the latch, the little ones all running out and seeming to kiss me. I can feel myself relax into the bed. I'm so emotional... I had to go and make everything about me again... I guess... 

I guess that's just the awful nature of a princess.


	5. Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's so... funny. It's funny how upset I am that we're getting what we deserve. It's disgustingly hilarious, you know, my stupidity. The beauty of my selfishness... Hey, this is oddly calming. 
> 
> A comforting despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up. How long will it stay that way?

The day was still early but despite this, I lay in bed, a cocoon of covers around me. I suck in the tropical breeze of which I've grown tired. A shuddering breath is what I exhale, the knocks come every so often. Different people but only Ibuki was warranted a response.

"Sonia, I'm not rushing you or even asking you anything. I just wanted to tell you that I'm here if you ever want to talk.," She said. I took a while to answer, having an inward battle over whether I should or not. Finally, I offered,

"...I know..."

Some small part of me wants to apologize and grovel at their feet but an overwhelming weight is holding me down. I'm bolted to this room with my thoughts. And I hate it. But I'm grateful, at least here I can't cause any trouble.

"Ah, when did I become such a troublemaker..?," I ask no one in particular. The only thing that tries to answer my nonsense is the ocean with its roaring waves. I laughed, just a chuckle. My despair is honestly hilarious. 

It's so... funny. It's funny how upset I am that we're getting what we deserve. It's disgustingly hilarious, you know, my stupidity. The beauty of my selfishness... Hey, this is oddly calming. 

A comforting despair.

"You're lost, come to me. With more love than you can POSSIBLY handle, I'll give you a despair filled REBIRTH!," a familiar voice beckons in my head. With dazed eyes, a wry smile slides onto my face. I laugh,

"Yes, Big Sister Junko."

A peace comes over me, mind and body numbing, my mind goes blank... I feel weightless, and tears run down my cheeks long since porcelain. 

"You don't have to choose HOPE or DESPAIR... Choose the FUTURE!"

I gasp, air filling my lungs and I feel like they're going to burst. I shoot up, heart pounding in my ears, body trembling. 

"Giving up on life is blasphemy to life itself!"

And just like that, overwhelming emotion and feeling returns to my body and it hurts. But, it's a good pain. My voice is quiet and hoarse, "Hajime..." Is that really my voice...? It's so weak and small, trembling like a child. I'm ashamed... But, there's nothing I can do.

This is what I've become yet, "I won't give up, Gundam... I won't give up!" I try to crawl out of bed so quickly that my foot gets tangled in the sheets and I trip. I fall with an audible thud but I don't care.

That doesn't wipe the grin off of my face, I push myself back up and run out of my cottage. I don't have any shoes on but I still couldn't care less. The reason I pause is because of a brilliant idea. I look around, not a person in sight.

"Let's do this!," I yell but quietly, only to myself. I creep across the wood, it only squeaks about four times but it still gave me quite the fright. And I run to the dining hall, poking my head in.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I see there's no one here, this is going to be hella awesome. I just hope it'll make up for what I said... Probably not but a girl can hope, right? After all, that's all we've got.

I make myself useful in the kitchen, an experienced chef. Even with that feat, that doesn't mean that I don't end up covered in baking flower and cake mix. Frosting also decorates my lips, I couldn't resist my own creation. I hear Hajime enter,

"I guess it's about lunchtime." I hurriedly look over my shoulder at the clock, it's 1:30. "Shit," I curse. I spent way too much time sulking, I knew it. But, I'm happy with what I've created.

I hear Souda speak, "Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'll cook." I hear all the others agree but I interrupt, walking out, "That will not be necessary." Ibuki and Souda perk up beyond belief, "Sonia!" Hajime smiles fondly.

I hurry back into the kitchen before I emerge holding a giant, square cake. It's vanilla with blue icing and it reads, "FUTURE!" in pretty, white cursive. Akane howls, "YAHOO~!! SWEETS!"

I nod enthusiastically, a big smile on my face. My heart is swelling with pride, this is the dealers happiness I've felt in months. I feel like I could take off and soar right this instant but ,for once, I want to stay on earth.

Right here with my friends, right here where I'll be with the love of my life. In the future. A beautiful future. I've got a nagging feeling that this high will come with an equal sized low. Who the hell cares?!

"Let's celebrate! Not hope but future!," I shout, excitedly. Hajime runs over to me and looks absolutely elated, a youth and beauty in his eyes I've only seen once before. That only makes me happier. He assists me in carrying the large cake to the table.

When Ibuki is given the honor to cut the cake she squeals. It's only when we're all seated and stabbing our individual pieces with silver forks is when I feel guilty. Without thinking, the words came out, "You guys..."

"I almost gave into despair... I'm sorry."

Before anyone else could even register nor process what just passed my lips, Fuyuhiko said, "An almost is an almost." I visibly jump, "Is it really that-"

"Of course it is.," Fuyuhiko cuts me off. I stuff cake in my mouth, "...Right." Every one else is stunned and don't say a word. I know that Fuyuhiko must know how I feel, after all, we're in the same predicament. Not just Fuyuhiko but Hajime, too.

Even Akane... Life is cruel. But, love is crueler. But it's a damn nice burn, Ibuki chirps, "Hajime, Hajime!" Said boy looks up at her, confused. "Don't make such a sullen face! Everything's gonna be okay-dokay. You're worried about, Nagito, right?"

Hajime makes an odd noise, I'm guessing he was shocked. "U-uh... quite perceptive of you...," he says, I see a blush on his cheeks. "But, to be honest, yes... I'm very worried about him... You know, even though he was a kind of confusing guy..."

"I still love him."

I smile wide, giving him a thumbs up, "Same here!" And Hajime laughs, "Yes, Gundam was quite the interesting character himself." I put my hand up, awaiting a high five. Hajime complies and another hand raises, it's Fuyuhiko. Next it's Akane, a high five fest and a hella awesome one at that! But, then...

Ever so slowly, a pale and trembling hand raises. One decorated in rings with nail polish, it's Ibuki and her eyes are cast to the floor. I give her a stinging high five, I used much more force than necessary. We all look at each other before a group fist bump.

I hear Souda laugh nervously, oh, right. He is the only one of us who isn't madly in love. Well, at least, with a comatose person... I'm jealous. 

 

The next two weeks are rather uneventful. Nothing too major happens, I've been swimming a lot more lately. And I also taught my little ones some tricks! Also, thanks to a beach camp out, I discovered that Hajime snores and talks in his sleep. What the heck is Monokuma theater..?

Those MUST be nightmares. So, now it's been three weeks since Ibuki woke up. And I can tell everyone is starting to get ancy. But, I'm content with things right now. Not to say that I would mind someone else waking up, I wouldn't mind at all. I'm hoping for it. Little did I know, I wouldn't think that for too long... 

Someone waking up can cause absolute despair.


	6. Disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My entire body relaxes involuntarily, I'm disappointed. A bitter disappointment. One that's sour and stings to touch. It even hurts to look at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disappointment turns to despair which then transforms into a rather peculiar anger.

To be completely honest, none of us expected for two people to wake up so close in time. But, there are a lot of unexpected events that keep popping up in our life. I wasn't ancy but I was okay. I didn't want too much stress on every one.

But, then again, there are a lot of things I didn't want. And there are even more things that I do yet they've never come to fruition. I wish I could turn back time to when I was just a child, and enjoy it. As much as possible, but I want a carefree childhood.

Not one where I have to memorize eight different languages, have perfect posture and speak like an aged and refined woman. I want to be able to play in the mud, have snot run down my face and fat, ugly tears rolls down my chubby cheeks over, quite literally, spilled milk.

I want to play games of tag with other kids, not read until my eyes ache. Of all things, why did I have to be born a princess? If it weren't for that, why I'd... I would have never attended Hope's Peak. I would've had a normal childhood and not a reason to fall into despair.

I would've just been a passing bystander in all the pandemonium, maybe I would've survived or maybe I'd be killed in a mass shooting.

Perhaps, I'd be a stain on the pavement made when jumping from a building above. 

Who the hell knows? And when am I thinking such morbid yet happy thoughts? In the middle of lunch. Every one chirping away as empty words fall from my mouth, I'm not even sure of what I'm saying or what is being discussed. Instead, my mind wanders... 

Until an abrupt memory surges through, painting everything grey while it is red in stark contrast. My voice rings out as I stare upon thousands of horrified faces, Novoselic citizens, my voice is ragged and twisted. I laugh, "Let's play a game of tag, okay?"

Confusion but mainly fear, it's almost as if I can smell it emanating from the poor dopes. In the present I jump, but not enough to be noticed. There in this disgusting and despair riddled memory is Souda. A blue jumpsuit dyed almost purely red with surely innocent blood.

A cap turned backwards with pitch black hair, he grins wide and his spiked teeth are even bloody. Good God, I feel sick yet my past self feels nothing but glee. He pulls out a gun, not just any gun but a fully functional AK-47.

I speak again, 

"In this game of tag, all the bullets are it. Get tagged by one and you're out." 

Then, there's an alarm. But, from where? I don't know where that loud sound could be coming from, surely not an ambulance, it's too odd for that. Suddenly, a hand is on my arm and dragging me out of my chair.

"Sonia, c'mon, what are you doing?! Now's not the fucking time to go into shock!," Fuyuhiko's voice reprimanded. I'm still not quite... all there. I know I'm walking, well, being dragged along as quickly as possible.

That noise is still as loud as ever, I wish it would go away. There's yelling, panic has ensued. I have no idea why, smoke fills my nostrils with no warning and I'm blinded by flashing lights. This feels oddly familiar... 

Someone's waking up!

Just like that, with that realization, I snap back to reality. I wretch out of Fuyuhiko's grip and look around frantically. I hate this pounding in my chest, my heart is entirely too loud.

I gulp and shut my eyes, with this I charge forwards. Right to where I've memorized my beloved to be. I feel someone push past me and the little noise they makes proves to me that it's Ibuki. She's probably running to Mikan. I lunge out, a dangerous move but a fruitless effort.

I am met with, for the second time, a closed pod. I make an 'oompf' sound when I land on it, air escapes my lungs. My entire body relaxes involuntarily, I'm disappointed. A bitter disappointment. One that's sour and stings to touch. It even hurts to look at.

That dreadful kind of disappointment. A sob escapes my mouth, how long will I have to wait?! I almost want to ask What I did to deserve this special kind of torture but I know exactly what. Yet, somehow, some part of me still yearns for someone to forgive me. But, it'll never come. Not even from the kind Makoto or truthful Kyouko.

Because they know what we know. We were the Remnants of Despair which means we are all murderers. How quickly we gave into Monokuma, no, Junko's game in the program showcases that. Yet, even so, we still have the nerve to cry like this.

"Gundam... When will you wake up?," I ask him even though I will not receive a reply. "How long will you keep me waiting...?," I grit my teeth. I feel heavier than two tons, I don't want to move. I don't give a damn who woke up, of course, I dare not voice this. 

I wonder who's going to get their happy ending, their beautiful reunion. I'm jealous. A startled, blood curdling scream causes me to gasp. A sharp pain stabs my ribs, with that, I push my lead body off of the pod. And I limp over to where it came from, the smoke is beginning to clear.

I am met with Ibuki's back, I push her out of the way... I'm frozen.

"Mahiru...?," I say weakly. That's who it appears to be and I feel like this is confirmed by the scream she lets out when she sees Fuyuhiko. She covers her head with her arms, "Don't..!"

Her memories must've cut off right when she died as she's trying to shield herself from a bat that will not come. Hajime puts his hand on her shoulder, "Mahi-"

She yells once again and my head pounds in pain. I have a seering headache. "DON'T TOUCH ME, HAJI-" She stops and her arms slowly fall to her side... "Hajime... Thank goodness you're here... Fuyuhiko, Peko, they...." Her head cocks to the side in confusion,

"Huh...? When did you get here...?"

Hajime starts, "That's what I'm going to explain but I need you to-" Mahiru jumps up and pushes through us all, "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU KILL ME, YOU BASTARDS!!"

Instinctively, we all turn on our heels and run after the girl. Well, all but one... Fuyuhiko is just standing there, looking bewildered. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!," rips from Mahiru's throat, it's raw and dry, it sounds painful. "You're not going to die!," several of us yell in unison. 

"Ibuki can explain, Mahiru, please!," the desperation in the singer's voice is jarring and it brings a tear to my eye. Desperation... desperate... What a perfect word for this sad little island. But, now's not the time for these thoughts. We need to catch the runaway photographer.

It's Akane who catches her, obviously. And she holds her in place with strong arms around Mahiru's waist. Mahiru struggles violently. "Stop, stop, don't you understand?! Peko and Fuyuhiko are going to kill me!" And instead of soothing words, I say, "They already did."

Mahiru freezes, head slowly turning towards me. Her eyes are full of fear and confusion, it brings back that memory but I stuff it down. Tears brim, "How... How is that...?" Before we can answer her simply complex question she sobs, "Where's Hiyoko? I don't trust any of you, I want to talk to her!"

"You can't."

My bluntness is not on purpose but I don't feel bad about it. I speak in a cold and monotone way, my anger and disappointment manifesting in this way, "None of that was real. It was all in a program, you're alive. You were simply in a coma for almost five months. You can't talk to Hiyoko because she was also murdered-"

Mahiru gasps so dramatically it almost rivals my little fits, yet, I continue on. "And those who were murdered or executed are , mostly, all still in comas. The only person, besides you, that has woken up is Ibuki. She was also murdered."

Mahiru's body relaxes and Akane lets go, unaware that the other girls legs had given out. She falls to her knees and hands, not making a sound. "We were put into the Neo World Program because we were all Remnants of Despair." Oh wait,

"Ah, you must forgive me, you must not understand that. The reason we had to kill one another, the person behind it was Junko Enoshima. And the reason she was even able to 'infect' the program was because one of us consciously put her in. Yes, the wicked woman, the Ultimate Despair who caused The Tragedy, the end of the world as we knew it..."

"We worked for her."

Mahiru's voice is weak and shakes like a leaf in the cold breeze that blows through my hair, "That can't... that can't be true... I don't even understand... I would never..." I look down on her, lifting my chin up as I glare, 

"You covered up the murder of a little girl. I'm sure there's lot of things you'd do."

A hand snatches my wrist and makes me look back, Fuyuhiko stands there, his eyes are lowered, "Don't... Stop talking like that... You sound like..."

Like what? Like I'm hopeless? Like I'm wrapped in despair? Oh tell me, Fuyuhiko. What do I sound like? Instead of asking this, I sneer, "Don't touch me." He looks taken back as I free myself from his newly slack grip. I hear crying and look back at the groveling Mahiru.

Her hands are balled into fists, "Why...?" I say, "We fell into despair, all for our own reasons. Yours way probably what I just said, the guilt most likely ate you alive. And Junko came along and promised to make it all better. And just like that, you were in love. In love with despair and the Ultimate Despair."

"I almost want to say, 'Don't feel bad', but you should. You, just like Peko, are a murderer. Just like all the rest of us. Get used to a new form of des-"

I'm interrupted by a harsh smack to the cheek, it sends my eyes wide. I just stare straight ahead, I'm in shock. I'm disgusted with myself for talking like that. But, I still want her to feel the pain. She's not Gundam. Therefore...

I don't care.

"It's almost as if you don't care!," Ibuki yells. Huh..? Was it her who slapped me? Couldn't be... My hand slowly reaches up and touches my surely red cheek, my eyes drift to the girl in front of me. There stands Ibuki Mioda, former Ultimate Musician, with her hand extended. And angry tears run down her cheeks. Why...

"I've never seen you so upset before." Ibuki grabs the front of my shirt and shakes me back and forth, "Sonia, snap out of it! Ibuki hates seeing you like this! I know you must be disappointed but please... Don't do this!"

She stops and leans her head on my chest, in a whisper, she speaks, "Yes, we all used to be Remnants of Despair but we... aren't any more... So we can't..."

"We can't talk about death like it's nothing!" Those words send my mind into a stutter, a hault and then a blank. Death like it's nothing... "Mahiru is our precious friend! Don't say such terrible things about her!" I feel soft, warm arms wrap around me. "Sonia... This isn't like you... Snap out of it and tell Mahiru you're sorry..." 

I look over her shoulder at Mahiru, the Mahiru whose hair has blonde highlights. The Mahiru who has scars all over her arms and broken, jagged fingernails with a broken camera around her neck. This pitiful Mahiru, not at all like the overbearing one I know. I shrug, with a blank face, I say, "I'm sorry, Mahiru."

"I really am... But, no matter how much sorrow I feel. It won't change the past and it won't make me or you a better person." Mahiru says something that I honestly didn't expect, "You think I don't know that..?! I'm sorry about what I did to Fuyuhiko's sister, I'm sorry about being a Fragment of Despair or WHATEVER!"

"All my life I've tried to be someone strong, someone others call a leader but no matter what I do... I'm always going to be a weak person. But, even so, the act continues on!" Her entire body is trembling and my heart thumps. A pang of sympathy, perhaps? With courage, she asks a dark question, "Who did it...?"

Fuyuhiko starts, "You already-" Mahiru shakes her her head, "Not me, idiot! Who killed Hiyoko? WHO?!" Ibuki replies, voice slow and oddly prepared, "Mikan." Mahiru scratches at her head feverishly, "Why? Mikan, she... She couldn't do something that grim could she...?! I know, Hiyoko was mean but...!"

Fuyuhiko looks like he wants to touch Mahiru, give her something reassuring but he doesn't, "Mikan regained her memories of being a Remnant of Despair and Junko. She killed Hiyoko and..." Ibuki admits, "Me. She killed Hiyoko and Ibuki." Mahiru's eyes go wide.

"She killed because she remembered that you all were friends... And she thought doing that would... cause beautiful despair for herself...," Fuyuhiko finishes. I start again, "So, tell me, weak Mahiru... Do you harbor hate towards Mikan, now? Or do you hate yourself? Perhaps, hate us all?"

"Or maybe, you still have the nerve to bear a grudge towards Fuyuhiko?"

Mahiru shouts, "I don't know! Dammit, I don't know..! Why should I believe you, huh? How do I know this is the truth?" A wry smile slides onto my face and I see the others' looks of horror but even so I laugh, "Come, then. I can show you the irrefutable evidence."

I drop down and grab her by the arm, roughly and with nails digging into skin. Even so, she doesn't resist. This person who supposedly wants to be strong allows me to drag her uselessly through the sand and back to the building. We enter the room and I go around, pointing to each.

And we stop in front of Peko's, "There lays your killer... In a coma she may or may not wake up from." Mahiru stares in silence and that manages to piss me off so I say, 

"Does that possibility bring you happiness?" 

Mahiru doesn't answer my question, so I drag her some more. And we reach the Sleeping Hiyoko Saionji, former Ultimate Traditional Dancer and Remnant of Despair. "That's... Hiyoko...?," Mahiru whispers, I'm not really sure if she's asking me. "Yes, as I'm sure you can tell, the program had our appearances to how we looked when we first began attending Hope's Peak Academy."

"So, we were in the bodies of our young, teen selves. Hiyoko currently looks like this, she grew out of her baby face and childish figure. But, she still had legions of fans. At least, that's what we read."

"The fact that she is in this state, that she may never wake up again is partially my fault. Partially your fault. How does that make you feel?" Mahiru begins to cry, loud and obnoxious. "Hiyoko, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you like I promised I would..! Please, forgive me for being so weak."

"Why are you talking to her?"

"Are you stupid? She can't hear you.," I state boredly. "I know that!," She yells at me. "So, don't do useless things.," I say. Mahiru takes in a shuddering breath, balling her fist up weakly before she punches me square in the chest. Her arm was shaking, it didn't really hurt. I just stared her in the eyes. 

"I know that I'm not the best person... And I deserve all my bad karma and I'm kind of overbearing, I'm weak and-," I interrupt her sob story, "What's the point of this?"She drags her eyes from the floor to my face, "Tell me, Sonia! Are these your true colors?!" I simply say, 

"It's not plural. I have only one color... I am grey."


	7. Forgiveness; "Let's dance in the past."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sonia... Are you okay..?," he asks.
> 
> What kind of dumbass question is that?!? Why, I'm... I'm not... No, I'm perfectly fine. Just fine. I'm normal, like I've always wanted to be. "Yes, I'm fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am rather proud of this chapter. We get a lot of character interaction in this chapter and we see Kirigiri next chapter...

I turn and look over my shoulder, "I'm leaving, so, go on. Continue to grovel and cry, weak Mahiru. Get it all out.."

"I don't want to have to see such a disgusting display, ever again."

Mahiru does just what I instructed, those dirty sobs coming from her trembling lips. They get quieter as I walk. My steps clicking on the tile floors-the only sound besides my breathing.

What I feel right now isn't despair, it's not deep and entrancing like before. It's not a darkness, yet, there is no hope either. No light that I'm purposely walking away from, nothing. Everything is just... neutral. I don't really feel anything but disappointment and disgust.

I bump shoulders with someone, I look up to see Souda with a worried look on his face. It also appears he's been crying, how annoying. "What do you want?," I ask, voice sharp. "Sonia... Are you okay..?," he asks.

What kind of dumbass question is that?!? Why, I'm... I'm not... No, I'm perfectly fine. Just fine. I'm normal, like I've always wanted to be. "Yes, I'm fine.," I try to walk past him but he stops me. "Sonia, you know, two weeks ago... when you made that cake."

"It made me really happy to see you smile like that."

"That so?," I reply with a bored expression and tone of voice to match. Souda begins to shake my shoulders, not at all helping my headache, and our eyes meet. There are tears brimming there.

"Sonia, please, snap out of it. I don't fully understand how you feel but... There are people in there who actually... actually LIKE me..! I want them to wake up, too, but just because the number one person you want to wake up didn't... Doesn't mean that you... become whatever the hell this is!"

Anger burns, the blood in my veins feels hot like fire, I swear I see red as my nostrils flare and I huff, "OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!" After that, my heart stutters once again and everything returns to that, pretty calming grey. "I know that I'm worried about you and isn't that all I need to?," he says.

I sigh, "If only. What you SHOULD be worried about is if those 'people who don't hate you', don't wake up and about you're own health and sanity. How about, keeping Hajime away from knives, how about-"

I'm interrupted by a slap on the back, like one you'd give to someone when they've done a good job. I turn around and see Fuyuhiko standing there. He looks tired and his eyes are cast to the floor, but, despite all that...

He has a smile on his face. 

"Sonia, it's okay to be disappointed. To be completely honest, I am too. I keep waiting for Peko to wake up and," a mixture of a sob and laugh escapes him," teach me that damn recipe. But, even so... That doesn't give you the right to say that shit!"

He continues, "I mean, what the hell was that?! 'Pitiful Mahiru'?! And then, then you have the nerve... to laugh and smile like that... You're acting like a 'No-Hope-Nagito!" What... does that mean. "Huh..?," I'm thoroughly confused. Fuyuhiko says, "Nagito was a pretty horrid fucker but, at least, when he went on about despair... It was always about how hope was better, how he always had it."

"But, you... All you speak is despair. I thought things were going well since you made that cake... You started coming out more and swimming, eating healthy and playing with those stupid hamsters.," he finishes. Not all of them are hamsters, you don't listen when I speak, do you?

Souda chimes in, "I get that there are ups and downs, I really do. But, please, don't go about spouting all this crazy nonsense." Nonsense..? I'm merely saying how I feel. Truth always sounds like nonsense to idiots. Why won't they just stop?

"Please, stop talking. Your words, they're all...," I trail off, lips suddenly unable to move. "They're all true, Sonia! Look me in the eye, "Fuyuhiko commands. I don't. His voice is strong, "C'mon, Sonia. Look me in the eye." I slowly pull my gaze, so that it meets with his. The former Yakuza speaks slowly and firmly, 

"Me and you? We're gonna get through this together. We're going to wait for Peko and Gundam to wake up, no matter how long it takes. And guess what?" 

"What...?," my voice sounds feeble and I hate it. Just like I hate this conversation, this island, too. "Were gonna celebrate every damn person who wakes up, we're going to greet them with smiles on our faces and hope in our hearts, alright?," he asks and I'm not really sure if it's a real question.

I respond anyway, "Alright..." Then, Fuyuhiko does something completely unexpected. So out of the blue and so unlike him... He hugs me. Tight and earnest. His body is warm and I can feel his beating heart, it's racing and stuttering. His ears even have the nerve to he pink in embarrassment.

"Ugh, damn you for making me do this... Just... Fuckin' cheer up, okay?," he says. I nod, slow and numb. I'm speechless. The embrace lasts for a few more moments then he pulls back and begins to walk off. Souda follows him but doesn't fail to look back at me.

I just stand here as the cold wind blows. Five minutes... Ten minutes... Twenty minutes pass before I take a single step. I walk to the beach shore and sit down, wrapping my arms around my knees... Man, this is hella lame. The waves are gentle, the sound manages to calm me.

Why can't I be cool and level headed like Kyouko..? Every time I talk to her, her voice is so calm. She looks so collected yet... I can see the tiredness in her eyes. At least, we have a chance... Our friends can wake up and continue to live. But, her friends...

They're really dead.

There is no hope, no way, that Celestia can randomly be brought back to life. That Ishimaru will be able to enforce rules once again or Sayaka to sing and talk fondly of her band. The murdered and blackened are really gone. And...

That realization makes my stomach turn, my nails dig into my arms and draw blood. "Shit...," I curse under my breath. I want to go back to the way things were. I'd take the despair in turn for the fireworks, roller coaster rides, parties... I'm just tired of this...

All this waiting. I don't like our appearances, I don't like the quiet Hajime. I don't like the Hajime who's always lost in thought, the one with self made wounds. I don't like the Akane who's always smiling despite the tear stains on her cheeks. For the umpteenth time, I sigh. A warm body presses against my own, a head leaning on my shoulder and hair tickling my neck.

I glance over, it's Ibuki. Her eyes are closed, face filled with an emotion I can't quite place. "We're okay, Sonia... We're alright., "She says as another body leans on my other side. It's Akane, "Geez Louis, Sonia, you gotta stop scarin' the livin' hell out of us like that." I don't apologize for my actions. I'll do and say what I please.

Mahiru never comes but that's understandable. After all, I did degrade her but she should be thankful. At least, I ripped the band aid off as quickly as possible. So, now, she can get used to things even quicker. Man, Akane is really warm...

I hear light snoring and I realize that Ibuki fell asleep some time ago, I blink a few times. Ibuki is actually... quite pretty. Her eyelashes are long, so long that they seem to tickle her cheeks. Speaking of cheeks, hers are pink, probably from the cold. Her skin is pale and would be porcelain if not for that scar going down her eye.

Her lips are pink and full, slightly parted. Her hair is starting to return to its normal deep blue. I realize I must be staring and tear my gaze away, Akane giggles quietly. "Sonia, you're much easier to read when you're quiet.," She comments. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I kind of want to ask if that's good or bad.

"Don't worry, it's not a bad thing.," Akane seems to read my mind. The sun has set, the stars are out. How long have we been out here..? I don't know but I don't really care. It's just a stupid question. "You know... Sometime tomorrow, Kyouko and Touko are supposed to come. They're gonna bring us some more food! And ya know, all that other stuff.," Akane makes small talk.

My eyelids are getting heavy, my breathing is slow, "Is that so..?" I can almost hear the smile on the other's face, "Yeah. You should talk to Kyouko, y'all seem to get along." I nod, closing my eyes and yawning. Kyouko is... my favorite... from Future Foundation... 

Akane says something else but I don't quite catch it, I'm... really tired...

 

When I awake, I find that I'm entangled with Ibuki and we're still on the beach. The sand is soft under me, Ibuki's arms are wrapped around my waist and her head on my chest. She's still sound asleep. What time is it..? I look up at the sky, there aren't a lot of clouds and it's a pretty blue. Like my eyes...

A timid voice interrupts me thoughts, "H-hey... You two... Hajime said to wake you up... The ship will be here,so, y-you know... get a move on." I blink before leaning up ever so slowly, and then turning at an even slower pace. My eyes roam over Mahiru.

She's standing there with a hand on her hip and finger out like a scolding mother. Though, I do see her shrink away in just the slightest when we meet eyes. I stretch, "Okay. I will... wake Ibuki up... And then get ready..." I speak slowly, from sluggishness and also not wanting to scare Mahiru away.

Also, if this was Hajime's attempt at getting us to make up or have me apologize... It's hilarious. I look over and gently shake Ibuki by the shoulders, "Ibuki.. Wake up." No reply. I shake some more, "Ibuki, it's time to get up." Now, I get an annoyed groan.

I think for a moment before I simply say, "Hajime wants you to sing another song." Her eyes snap open in a way that almost makes me laugh, almost. She flies up so quickly that it confuses me. "I'll give 'em the show of a lifetime!," She proclaims. I nod, voice still too monotone, "Go get 'em."

I stand and brush my clothes off, trying to rid myself of sand. I walk past Mahiru without another word, I simply glance at her. I don't miss the shiver that runs up her spine. Ah, my eyes must be so cold and dead for such a reaction. I honestly don't care. Especially if it makes her uncomfortable... Good.

I never really cared for her, anyway. Especially since she took Gundam's chance. Who knows when he'll get another to wake up?! I roll my eyes, most likely, at myself. I have to stay calm. That's what Chiaki would say, isn't it?

Chiaki... Oh, why couldn't she have been... true? Why doesn't she have the chance to wake up? I'll never get to see her again... Unless, I go back in that program. But, it'd just be the two of us. She'd probably be upset... That I came back instead of living in the future... But,

Living in the future is hard.

Why can't I just live in the time, when we first made it to the island? I want to pick and choose moments to relive over and over. When Gundam and I first met... The party, before the blackout... The fireworks... Ibuki's concert... The theme park... I feel a smile slide onto my face. That rollercoaster is nothing but a blissful memory for me.

As we sped up, Gundam did the cutest thing and tried hiding in his scarf. Then, he chanted some crazy spell. And when we started the descent, my goodness. He let out this little shriek, and I laughed but then he... He... 

He grabbed my hand. 

He held on so tight, it hurt a little. His eyes were screwed shut and I was frozen, just staring at our intertwined fingers. My face felt as hot as fire and my heart was pounding so fast, so hard that it hurt. Yet, I felt nothing but pure joy. I had to restrain myself because I remember how badly I wanted to kiss him. In that moment, I realized it wasn't just a crush. I had fallen for him. Hard.

Oh... When did I get here? I find myself in front of my door, I reach out and grab the handle with hesitancy. I don't want to stop these beautiful memories. They're much nicer than the ones that force themselves upon me. The flashes of Junko... That horrid woman. 

I walk in and look around, looking for a quick change of clothing. I opt for a light green skirt and a white button up shirt, knee high white socks and green gym shoes. A casual and easy look. I go into the bathroom and wash my face, comb my hair and put on a little lipstick. I open the medicine cabinet and when I do I felt like I've been shot.

All it took was the flash of a medicine bottle to bring those memories back. 

A bitter look on Mikan's face as she mutters, "It's not fair... It's not fair, not fair, not fair, notfair, notfair, notfairnotfairnotfairnotfair..!" She looked at us with burning, hateful, accusing eyes, "What did I do?!" Her nimble, pale hands grab at her uneven hair. Her face is so full of hate and rage, my heart drowns in pain. The next words ring in my head...

"Why won't anybody FORGIVE me?!"

I feel a stray tear run down my cheek, I quickly wipe it away. But, this memory refuses to stop. Not yet, at least. "Why does everybody ALWAYS hate me?!," She yelled, voice angry yet shakey with fear and sadness. I don't hate you, Mikan... But, why did we react in such a way...?

Was it because Ibuki had died? Because Ibuki was helpless, Hiyoko was weak...? Because it was two people, soon to be three?! I remember all of our eyes when we realized it! All the disgusted gazes that got thrown her way. No one else got that, no one... So, why did we choose Mikan to be truly angry towards?

Why wouldn't we forgive her...?! WHY?! Just like she said, everyone else always was... We always saw their reasoning and their hearts, that they didn't really want to. Yet, with her, there was no sympathy... The one who needed it the most. The one who got happy because we even acknowledged her existence!!

"PLEASE, just FORGIVE me ALREADY!, "Mikan Tsumiki, former Ultimate Nurse and Remnant of Despair, begged for forgiveness... Something I refuse to give myself but would bathe her in... I'm sorry, Mikan... Please... forgive us. God, forgive us all.

By this time, I've slid onto the floor. I'm crying into my shaking hands. Why is there so much sadness in my heart? Oh God, did anyone say that we forgave her?! Anyone?! Why does this hurt so much..?! I don't want to feel like this anymore...

Where did that neutrality go? Now, I'm right back to grey. But, a dark depressing grey... with hints of blue, of sadness. I hear the boat and drag myself up, wiping my eyes with my arm. I step out of my cottage and the fresh air is nice...

I take confident strides, "I'll be seeing Kyouko today... I want to, at least, appear strong." I make it to the shore, Akane and Ibuki are there too. It seems they've been assigned as my watch squad but I don't mind them. I also wouldn't mind Fuyuhiko... I should speak to him later. The ramp for the ship slowly lowers. 

All three of us stand here, waiting. I try to appear as prim and clean as possible. Akane still has crumbs on her cheeks while Ibuki has a big, proud grin on her face. She must have actually sang. A figure of grey and purple starts to descend. I'm ready to greet Kyouko. The strong, stone faced Kyouko and the little, black mass of fur in her arms. But...

The Kyouko Kirgiri who has descended the ramp... Is nothing like the one I know.


	8. Two Hearts; "It Hurts..!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia sees the weak side of Kyouko... But is it truly weak?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is the true meaning of strength? Kyouko and Sonia discover their own definitions.

I blink once, twice, three times and maybe even four... Is this really Kyouko? She's wearing a big, knitted white sweater that goes just a little too far past her hips. The material bunching up at her arms which are wrapped around the cat that is in her arms. Her grey jeans are baggy around her ankles and she has on a pair of scuffed up, dirty white gym shoes. But that's not what startled me, even though it is unusual, what startled me is...

The visible dried tear stains down her cheeks, how red her cheeks are... the bags under her eyes and how bloodshot those are... the trembling smile that's forced on her lips... The way she's looking at the ground, "Hello, Sonia... Ibuki... Akane..." Her voice is low and hoarse.

Concern surges through me but before I can even voice my thoughts, Touko comes grumbling down the ramp. She's wringing her hands together, clad in the usual black suit and her hair down. It's unruly and all over the place, she looks upset. She nudges past Kyouko and bites the nail of her thumb, "H-hey.... You do-Don't have to stare..! I know I'm ug-..."

Touko shakes her head as if trying to literally fling her words from her mouth, "Er... Lo-look, Naegi told us to ch-check up on you all... And make sure that you're.... al-alright." Alright must mean that we haven't fallen into despair. That we're still somewhat alive. I have bad news for you... Just look into my eyes and you'll know.

I spit out a greeting, "Hello, Kyouko. It's nice to finally meet you, Touko." Touko grumbles, "It's nice to finally to be a member of Future Foundation." I stick my hand out, awaiting a shake. Touko looks at it, her face twisting in disgust and nervousness. I force a botched laugh from my throat, I retract my hand. 

My eyes drift back over to Kyouko who's hand is feverishly rubbing the animal within her arms, she's obviously anxious. Is this really Kyouko Kirigiri...? Former Ultimate Detective? The strong woman whom I admire like a child would? Why has she been reduced to this?! Can I trust no one to remain strong? It's sure as hell not my job! 

It seems no one will take the responsibility... How fucking pitiful. I lean my head down, the ramp is suddenly very interesting. I slowly begin to turn, "Well, come on." Ibuki chirps, "Yeah, let's go to the hotel and talk! Follow me!" She points and announces her action, "POINTING!"

I fall back and walk next to this off Kyouko, I peer over at her and speak quietly, " Ms.Kyouko... is everything alright?" She shakes her head, an honest and truthful answer. "No, not really but... duty calls. This is my job. And to be frank, no one cares if I'm okay. As long as I get my job done... Breakdown or no breakdown."

I raise an eyebrow, my heart stops... Breakdown...? Kyouko Kirigiri having a breakdown..? That seems so unreal... How... I don't understand, "Why...?" She looks at me, "Because I have a job, I said that, didn't I?" I shake my head, putting a hand on her shoulder, "No, why did you have a breakdown?"

She looks me in my eyes. That familiar grey with hints of purple, so bright yet dim. I'm sure she's looking deep into my heart, my true emotions and I feel violated. Yet, I don't look away... I'm captivated by her eyes and that porcelain face... She laughs. It almost sounds conceited but I know it's not. I don't know how but I just do.

"By the look in your eyes... I know that you know... I thought I was okay but, who knew that a simple suggestion of poker could send me into a frenzy?," Kyouko tells before shaking her head, "Shameful, isn't it?" I almost nod but I catch myself. Is no one strong? Can I trust anyone?! Even Kyouko has become weak.

It's fucking pathetic.

I know I'm not supposed to be the strong one, definitely not. But, no one is willing to take the responsibility it seems... Thinking about it, Kyouko must be quite traumatized. Because of what she said, a simple game of poker.

I can see things that remind me of Gundam and even hear things he used to say and be, for the most part, alright. But, Naegi told me Kyouko was always calm, cool and collected. But, she was also the one who had to examine the bodies... She had to touch the dead bodies of her friends...

I couldn't even handle looking yet alone touch. And then, Asahina tells me about all the nights Kyouko stayed up... And all the times she heard the detective in the morgue, talking to their friends. I glance back over at the shaking woman, I actually feel bad for her. I wonder who suggested the game... I wonder who didn't think before they spoke?

Junko must be cackling in her grave. At the way she's broken us all. Permanently, too. None of this trauma can just be wiped away with a hug. Not even Gundam waking up will stop the memories of all I've done... To the matter at hand, I can't believe they made Kyouko come in such a state. I suppose, not even Naegi can stop the higher ups in Future Foundation. Still...

Just look at her, shaking and pale. Yet, even so, she smells of roses. I'd like to think that a garden is where those cuts on her hands come from even though I know they come from rooting through rubble to help people. A simple garden is much more calming than saving a life. We've made it to the hotel, we go in.

Mahiru is sitting on the couch, playing the game like Chiaki used to. Hajime is sitting next to her but he's leaning on her shoulder, half asleep. Pitiful Mahiru doesn't look too happy about it. Souda is sitting on the table, tinkering with some kind of contraption while Fuyuhiko watches boredly. Souda is the first to notice us,

"Oh, hey ladies!," he calls. I nod and I see Kyouko wave and Touko does a poor imitation. Hajime stirs, "...He...y..." He actually looks kind of cute like that, Fuyuhiko nods at them. He always greets people like that. Must be a Yakuza thing. "We're he-here to check up on you g-guys... To...," Touko scrunches her face up, "Ta-talk..." Mahiru glances at us.

I put a hand on Kyouko's shoulder, "I'd like to go first. I'm sure no one has anyone objections to that..." I feel like I just insulted myself but I get the response I want. Complete and total agreement. It reminds me of my princess days... I was happy, then. Me and Kyouko leave out, going up to the dining hall by ourselves. We sit at one of the smaller tables together.

We sit face to face, I look at my hands and think for a long while. I wring them together nervously, "So, how long... have you been... you know?" Kyouko shrugs, "I lost count when it hit four days." She says it so matter of factly like it's nothing new. Well, it's probably not... Still, I don't even know how long I've been like this but every day has felt like an eternity. 

It's actually starting to hurt, "Isn't it excruciating?" Kyouko looks down into her lap, bangs covering her eyes. She whispers her reply, "Of course... What a stupid question..." I'm taken back. So much that I scoot my chair back and put my hands over my ears. Those words relay in my mind over and over. "What a stupid question".... God, she...

Kyouko sounds just like me...

My shoulders start to heave, ragged breaths leaving my dry throat, tears are falling down my cheeks. "So, why do you keep moving forward?!," I yell. It hurts so much and I can't bear this pain. Even so, I can't do a single thing about my situation..! All I can do is wait and with each disappointment it burns just a little more... I want it to stop.

"Because I know that's what hope is all about. Hope is believing that things will get better, that one day you'll be okay and the world will be back to normal. Kids will dream once again and not shake from nightly terrors. And besides...," She looks up at me with a small smile, "What would Celestia say if she saw me moping around?"

My heart feels so heavy with those words, there are no words to explain what I feel. All I can do is cry and cry to make my chest lighter but I can't breathe, my own sorrow is choking me. My vision is so blurry, I can't see a thing. Is that what true strength is? To always move forward, even if it hurts-especially because it hurts? Then, everyone here is strong... But, me... I'm stagnant... 

I don't even know if I can keep going, I feel so broken. Through this jumble of emotions peaks pure curiosity, "What... would she say...?" Kyouko thinks before she puts a finger up and adds an accent to her voice, "Really, Kyouko?! Letting the simple death of a gambler turn you into THIS?! I guess you are more pitiful than I thought... If you want me to change my mind, "she switches to a prim smile as a single tear falls down her cheek, "You should put on a better face, yes?"

"That so...?," I force those be words from my tight throat and even stiffer jaw. I hear Kyouko's chair slide across the floor, I assume she's leaving me to wallow in my disgusting tears. Figures... Well, who ever wants to be around me now, anyways? No one... Wait, that's not true... Ibuki and Akane, even Fuyuhiko are trying to help me. Souda, too. I'm so blind but I can't help it. I'm in pain... I'm jarred,

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me, not too tight or soft and they're warm. I open my eyes, my vision is still incredibly blurry but from the beautiful purple locks, I know who it is. My heart breaks a little more as my body relaxes. I sob loudly and openly, my feelings and thoughts pouring out,

"It hurts..! I just miss him so much..!!," I yell out yet it's weak and shaky. Speaking of shaking, my entire body is trembling. I hear a meow, Grand Bois Chéri is getting restless. Gundam also said that cats can sense people's emotions, a lot of animals can. He must hate the despair in this room, no, the comforting. The mending of my broken heart.

"I know, just let it all out. It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay.," Kyouko soothes me in a calm, quiet voice. Is that true...? I don't know but even so, it feels good to hear. "I'm just so tired of waiting, Kyouko. It feels like I'm dying, every single day!," I cry. Fingers brush through my hair, "But, you're alive... And it hurts to live but you'll get your reward. I promise." 

A promise, huh..? This is my second promise to live, "...Okay."


	9. Pinky Promise; "So, promise me..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there a true sign of hope? Sonia hopes so while Ibuki is desperate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OVER 500 HITS, I'M SO HAPPY!! I literally saw that and started crying tears of joy! And all the kudos and comments, you guys are the absolute best! I've never felt so motivated to write! I hope this chapter is good, I wrote it with extra care, and that it gives you hope!

Kyouko gives me one last reassuring squeeze before she whispers, "Sorry. I think it's about time I talk to someone else.," She laughs, "I know for a fact that Touko is sinking down there." I nod slowly as she lets go, when Kyouko is walking away, I stand and do the same. Going down the stairs, I wipe my tears and sniff, trying to look somewhat presentable. When I return, I see Touko leaving with Souda and pitiful Mahiru sitting on the couch. Her hands are balled up into knobby fists, angry tears dripping off her cheeks. She makes an odd noise, it sounds frustrated.

Kyouko and Fuyuhiko are walking past me before I can even realize it, I realize I'm frozen on the stairs. I go and sit at the table where Souda was, staring at the metal and oddly shaped contraption he's creating. I cautiously reach out and poke it. Not a thing happens, of course. I decide to leave it alone, not wanting to break it. I rest my chin in my hands, thoroughly bored. I glance around, where on earth is Hajime? He's just up and disappeared. Well, if that's the case, so can I.

I walk out of the dining hall, I can faintly hear Touko and Souda's conversation. But, that's not what I'm focused on. When I look to my right, there sits Ibuki on the steps. Her head is in her hands as she sobs, curled in on herself, hiding from the world but not doing a very good job at it. I stare at her, I'm at a loss for words, honestly. I notice her skinny, pale arms as they've yet to be truly marred by the island sun.

There are marks there, scars but not quite. Fresh and new wounds. Familiar yet so foreign. 

My heart thuds in my ears as I grab her arm rather roughly, looking at it. Ibuki looks up at me with big, scared eyes. She tries to snatch her arm away. My voice comes out broken and ragged as I yell, "What is this?!" Ibuki looks away, to the floor. I feel angry tears spilling down my cheeks, "Dammit, Ibuki! Why?! Tell me!" She shrugs. "That's not an answer! When?!," I haven't yelled like this in such a long while, it hurts. Then again, maybe it's just the pain that my heart is drowning in.Ibuki's lips pull up into a sad, forced smile, I'm getting too used to those. Her voice is quiet,

"I just thought that maybe... if I got hurt... Mikan would wake up and fix it for me."

My heart absolutely shatters at those words, "Ibuki...," I don't know what to say so I just pull her into a hug. "When..?," my voice is unbelievably quiet. Ibuki says, "Two days ago... No one knew 'cause of my shirt..." That's right, on the beach, Ibuki was wearing a long sleeved shirt. More tears leave my eyes, I can't believe I didn't notice that. I should've said something. It's probably because of me and my fits, stressing everyone out! Ibuki, I'm so sorry..!

"I'm so sorry...," Ibuki whispers to me, tightening our hug. Why is she apologizing? I'm the one whose sorry, "Please, never again. I'm begging you...," I plead. Ibuki goes silent. I cry harder, at least... She's not a liar. "I'll try... I'll try... But, Ibuki is just so used to it...," Ibuki says and I'm utterly confused. "Used to it..?," I ask. Ibuki lets out a broken sob, "People weren't nice when I introduced my solo music... Ibuki was ridiculed... I wondered if I should just go back and beg for my spot... But, Ibuki was stronger than that..." It must've been so hard for her. Her legions of "fans" all disappearing in the blink of an eye...

"Who else knows..?," I wonder aloud. "Me, you and Touko... That's it. Ibuki doesn't wanna worry anybody.," She replies and I snap, "Worry?! We're always going to worry about every little thing and your health is damn sure one of them!" I can feel her shrug, "This is not a shrugging matter. Ibuki, that's dangerous... You just... You just woke up... You can't risk going back to sleep..." The real words, living and dying were just too hard to say. Ibuki, I hope, received the message as she began to cry loudly. Is this how I make the others feel..? God, this sucks...

It hurts worse than when I'm upset. Maybe because it's Ibuki, the one with biggest smile and those star eyes. The pretty girl, the perfect girl. The one who hasn't hurt a single one of us and decided to hurt herself. Innocent blood, well, not completely but in my eyes, innocent blood has ran. Hajime walks up to us, he's holding a book to his chest. Well, not quite a book because it's large. Ibuki opens one eye to peer up at him before she gasps. 

A giant smile slides onto her face and my heart lightens. She holds her arms out, grabbing with her hands like a child. Hajime chuckles and hands her the item, she squees, "My sketchboook!!" I raise an eyebrow, "Ibuki, you draw?" She nods enthusiastically, "But, it's kind of weird. I just... let my hand do whatever it wants and when Ibuki looks, it's always a pretty picture!" I'm astounded, "Ibuki... that's amazing." Ibuki just shrugs at my compliment. Hajime sits next to Ibuki, puts an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in close.

I put my hands on my knees and stand, stretching, I'll leave them alone. At the same time that I reenter the building, so do Touko and Souda. Souda has a smile playing on his lips while Touko looks proud, nervous but proud. I find that Fuyuhiko is having a quiet conversation with Mahiru. I catch bits and pieces,

"My fault... Shouldn't have..."

"Her idea... I'm sorry... Didn't mean to..."

They're most likely apologizing to one another. For the events involving Fuyuhiko's little sister and the more recent events of the Neo World Program. Then, Fuyuhiko cracks a smile, "She was the Ultimate Little Sister... being an Ultimate is just... bad luck, y'know?" Mahiru takes in a shakey breath before hugging him and crying, "I'm so sorry..!" How nice? At least, it's less tension to worry about. Meanwhile, I see a glance cast at me. What is he expecting? For me to apologize? I think not. This grudge in my heart refuses to budge and I couldn't care less. No matter what happens, she'll always just be a disappointment to me.

"That's harsh," I swear I hear Chiaki say. It's so clear, so vivid, my breath catches in my throat and my eyes widen. I look all around me with a loud heart, "Huh..?!" Several people look at me with weird faces. That was... odd, to say the very least. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I must really be missing her... Chiaki was our rock, after all. The rock that protected from the crashing waves of despair, death and... Nagito. I snicker to myself. I surely look like a nutcase but I could care less.

I'm laughing and that's all that matters! I sit on the table, next to Souda's contraption as he sits back in his seat. He beams up at me, probably thinking I feel better. Well, I guess. I send a small, thin smile back his way. And that's enough to turn his cheeks a pretty shade of pink as his smile widens. Once again, his teeth catch my eye. I look away before I'm caught. I wonder what kind of childhood breeds someone like him? I don't mean that in a bad way, I just wonder. He never speaks of his childhood and treats it like conversational pariah.

Still, I don't push. Maybe he'll tell us some day but I think Hajime already knows. My mind wanders to the beating hearts of our slumbering friends. How even and peaceful they are. I mumble, "I'm going to talk to Gundam..." Now that I think about it, I feel extremely guilty. It's been a month since I've talked to him and my heart sags a little again. I'm sorry, Gundam. I just... haven't had enough strength. Souda nods and I slide off of the table. I walk lightly to the room of murderers and the murdered.

The room where the one who I love resides.

Now, I don't recoil at this. Maybe it's cause I've not enough a mind to care at the moment. I quickly make it to Gundam's pod, looking down at his face. I put my hand to the cool glass, "I'm sorry I haven't visited lately... I just didn't want you to see me the way I was." As if he can, "But, I'm taking those words even deeper in my heart. I will live. I will not give up. I will wait forever and a day for you." Even if it hurts like hell. I speak again, "I still haven't taught any of my little ones any tricks. They refuse to listen to me, I don't think I'm doing it right. Oh, by the way, Ibuki and Mahiru woke up..." I pause, hesitant to say my next words...

"Maybe that means you're next?"

I shrug, "I don't know, I just get an odd feeling like you will soon. It's probably my mind clinging to a slither of hope. But, that's okay, I think.," I'm not really sure. I feel happy even though there's only my voice bouncing off of these walls. "Still, I promise I won't leave you alone like that ever again!," I raise my hand and stick my pinky out. "So, promise you won't take too much longer, okay?," I hook my pinky at this. My eyes catch the slightest thing, maybe it was just a trick on my mind, I don't know but my heart is fluttering and pounding with joy. I swear I saw...

Gundam's pinky finger twitched.

It's now spread from the rest of the other fingers, considerably so. Tears well up in my eyes, I don't know what to say but these are happy tears. I hug the pod as I yell and yell everyone's name like I'm dying. Because of this, everyone rushes in, panting and worried. I have no more strength to talk, I'm barely standing. I manage to motion them all over with my hand. All steps are slow, fearful. They must be thinking the absolute worst but it's the exact opposite! Gundam is very much alive!! I look at Fuyuhiko then Hajime, I point to Gundam's pinky.

"His finger moved... he pinky promised he won't keep me waiting for too much longer..!," my voice is all over the place but the smile on my face is constant. Hajime looks confused while Fuyuhiko's eyes widen as he peers into the glass. "Look, it happened right when I asked him to promise..!" Ibuki puts a hand on my shoulder, she says, "Ibuki is HAPPY! I told you to stop worrying so much!" Yes, a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can breathe and I can see the pretty colors of Ibuki's hair. Fuyuhiko speaks slowly, "So, I'm not crazy..."

"What do ya mean?," Akane asks before I can. Fuyuhiko starts, "A week or so ago, I was talking to Peko... And there's a song my mom used to sing to me, my sis and Peko...," his cheeks heat up, "I won't sing the whole song but... When I sang, 'And so said the rabbit who wiggled his nose'... I know...

"I saw her nose wiggle."

My eyes widen as I look at him, barely getting my question out, "Why didn't you say anything..?!" I'm not angry just confused and a little jealous he got a response before me. He replies, "Because I thought I was just goin' fucking crazy cause of the sun! But, it was nice... Especially because... That was always her favorite part." I smile up at him, repeating the words he said to me, "We're going to get through this together, you and me..." I won't be upset if Peko wakes up first, it makes logical sense... All I really care about is the fact that my Prince will awake soon.

I'll finally get to really thank him for everything. And I can enjoy the rising sun with him again and maybe this time, we can intentionally hold hands...


	10. Reunion; "I'm in love with you..!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion, pure love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop. This was so fun and cute to write.

A few days pass by rather uneventfully, I bumped into pitiful Mahiru in the hallway. She yelled at me and I just looked at her and continued walking. I wasn't going to waste my time with an argument when I needed to talk to my darling Gundam. I haven't asked for another pinky promise or anything of the sort, I don't want to jinx it nor do I want to rush him. Well, I kind of do but that's besides the point! Now, though, I'm sitting in the pool, wearing a new swimsuit they say someone at Future Foundation tailored?

Either way, it's pretty and blue with pink ruffles at the hips. Souda is in front of me, we're playing rock, paper, scissors. I throw paper and he throws rock. I splash the water and cheer as he laughs, he says, "Fine, fine, I lost. I'll be Marco." Scratch that, we are now engaged in a game of Marco-Polo. It's just us two, sadly. Fuyuhiko is sleeping one of the chairs, a book on his face. Pitiful Mahiru said something about pictures and ran off to God knows where. Hajime and Akane are cooking while Ibuki is sitting on the ground in front of the motel.

According to her, that's the best light to draw in. I can't wait to see what she draws and I bet she can't, too. I chuckle at my own joke and Souda lunges towards me, eyes closed. I skillfully avoid it, making as little noise possible. "Marco...," he cautiously calls. I swim backwards just a bit, surely out of reaching range, "Polo." He swims towards me again, I go under the water without a single sound and swim to the left. When I slowly emerge I hear a groggy, tired voice, "To the left, Souda."

I gawk, turning and yelling at Fuyuhiko, "You can't do that, that's cheating!" He shoots me a cocky grin as Souda yells, grabbing me. "Caught you!," he proclaims. I kick my feet since my arms are pinned to my sides, "No way, c'mon you guys totally cheated!" Water is splashing everywhere and despite my reprimands, I'm laughing. So is Souda. Fuyuhiko, too. It feels as beautiful as it sounds. Color is bleeding back into my world, hope is tearing the grey apart, happiness is spreading in my chest.

After another round, where respectfully, I won and I might've opened my eyes. That's still up for debate! I'm standing in a warm towel, the sun did that for me, talking with Souda. Ibuki bursts through the gates to the pool, holding the sketchbook above her head proudly. She yells, "Look what Ibuki drew!!," as she runs over to us. Ibuki hops up and down like an excited child, an innocent smile to match. "Okay, okay, just calm down.," I say with a smile and grab the sketchbook. I'm surprised...

It's very well drawn, extremely well. The shading and anatomy is very nice yet it has a certain manga style to it. It's a headshot of Hajime, looking to the side. Darkness around the bottom while a crown of ebony is atop his head. The only color on the paper, besides grey and black, is the stunning red in his eyes. "Ibuki, this is...," I'm at a loss for words. It's amazing, but that doesn't do it justice. Fuyuhiko just stares, wide eyed, "This is beautiful, Ibuki." Said girl just smiles harder.

Souda remarks, "It's so unfair, you have two amazing talents! Give me one!" Ibuki laughs, "But, then you'd have two!" Souda blushes at the unintentional compliment, he's said multiple times that being a mechanic is nothing special. That must mean a lot to him. I ruffle Ibuki's hair lovingly, "You're so awesome!" We continue to shower Ibuki in compliments until she's blushing and says she's 'totally gonna die!' But, all our ministrations stop collectively and simultaneously.

There's that familiar blaring noise and in the sun, the flashing light is just visible. But, the fog is speaking volumes. We all look at each other before taking off running, Ibuki's sketchbook falling onto a discarded towel without a care. My hair is wet, sticky and flinging water droplets everywhere. The wind is cold on my damp skin, I can feel every piece of flesh on my body moving with the force that my feet are pounding on the pavement. My feet are making these disgusting squelching sounds but I can barely hear them over my heart.

Oh, the loud sounding and adrenaline feel so foreign yet every part of my body knows exactly what's going on. I'm panting, I can only feel air leaving my lungs and not entering. Even so, I push myself harder. I wonder who it is. Is it Gundam who promised or is it Peko who just wants to sing her favorite song?! Who is it?! I want him, I want her. Anything else is purely unacceptable! I reach out, grab the door handle and throw it open. I hear Ibuki scream, "IS IT SO?!" I know she's referring to Mikan.

Hajime and Akane enter through the other door, I see their silhouettes. Where Mahiru is, I don't know and couldn't care less. But, we don't have to look long or hard. I see another silhouette, someone sitting up in a pod. They have shoulder length, wavy hair. They look around and cough, it's a girl. Wait, wavy hair..? Hold on, has my wish been fulfilled for once?! Is it truly so?!

My steps slow, a body pushes past mine. The fog is clearing, my heart is slowing.  
"...Peko?," Fuyuhiko says, his voice is quiet and curious. I blink, my vision clearing. It is indeed, Peko Pekoyama, former Ultimate Swordswoman. My heart swells with joy, happiness. Peko didn't deserve what she got, not truly, and I'm so happy for Fuyuhiko. His beloved is here, now and soon, mine will be, too. But, still, we can't rejoice yet. Is she even 'all there'? We don't know, yet.

Fuyuhiko stands on the side of the pod, hand reaching out and touching Peko's hand. "Peko, you there..? It's Fuyuhiko..." The girl looks him in the face, eyes dead, she blinks and coughs another time. A shakey gasp before she opens her eyes, suddenly full of life and beautiful recognition. Her voice is weak, rusty, "...Yo-young Master...?" Fuyuhiko's face pulls into the biggest, purest smile and I smile, too. He hugs, "Peko, thank God, you're okay!" Said woman's arms tremble as she embracing Fuyuhiko. 

Sobs escape the Yakuza's mouth, "Peko, I'm so happy you're back!" Peko speaks, "Young Master... you're... okay..! I thought you were... that I had..!," tears falling. Her embrace tighten as she cries loudly. It doesn't seem to register, at the moment, that she should be 'dead'. She's simply happy that Fuyuhiko is okay. I feel tears brim and don't care to wipe them away before they can spill. There's a hand on my shoulder, it's Ibuki. She's smiling too, but don't I miss the tiredness of her eyes.

Soon, I want to tell her, for the both of us. Hajime smiles, another pair of footsteps enter. They're light and quick, I turn and see Mahiru standing there. She makes a face of pure horror as if she's about to scream but she doesn't. Instead, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She must be reminding herself of her talk with Fuyuhiko. A smile slides onto her face, she whispers, "That's good..." The photographer takes a few more steps forwards, now, next to me.

I cast her a glance, no malice intended. Fuyuhiko helps Peko out of her pod, she's very tall. Taller than I remember and that sounds about right. There's a scar that stretches all the way around her neck, her fingernails are painted red. She's wearing a black vest with a red shirt underneath, leather jeans and knee high white boots. The boots are heavy looking with dried blood splattered across them. I imagine Future Foundation, however they managed to get us, didn't have time to clean us up all that much.

Despite all that, Fuyuhiko is not perturbed in the slightest. He puts an arm around her waist, "I'll explain, but, let's get you to the motel." Peko starts, "Young Master, I am capable of-" Fuyuhiko interrupts, "Just listen to me for once." Peko nods though she looks oddly guilty. I notice, the swordswoman walks with a limp. It catches everyone's eye yet no one says a word. As we walk through the hallway, everyone is speaking at once.

"Peko, I can't wait for us to be able to spend time together again...," Fuyuhiko mumbles, smiling and blushing. Hajime raises an eyebrow, inquiring, "What do you... remember, Peko?" The woman goes silent, "....I don't know... I'm sorry, you must allow me to gather my thoughts, why, I... Wait, aren't I..." Everything is churning and processing for her. Ibuki chirps, "Don't push yourself too hard." Peko looks at the ground face filled with confusion before her eyes peel at Fuyuhiko, "Young Master... are you and I...?"

Instead of answering her question, Fuyuhiko simply says, "How many damn times I gotta tell you to stop calling me that', I'm not your master." Peko looks upset, maybe at being scolded or the fact that her question has gone unanswered. We've arrived at the motel, we all go and sit at the large dining table. Slowly, but surely, it's filling up. Fuyuhiko turns to Peko, whom he's sat next to and starts slowly, "Start from the beginning of what you remember."

Peko nods, "Well... You and I were accepted into Hope's Peak Academy, myself for swordsmanship... Let's see, oh, right... On the very first day, we were taken to some island. Despite the oddities, you told me to pretend as if we were regular students. So, that's what I did. ," she looks at Fuyuhiko, "... Afterwards..."

Things are starting to get unsavory now.. Peko continues but shudders, "Usami told us we had to befriend everyone, collect hope fragments in order to escape. I will admit, I was quite worried that with your attitude, we'd never leave.," I almost want to laugh at her unintentional joke but I don't. "But, then," Peko grimaces, gritting her teeth, "Monokuma appeared and told us something completely different. That we had to kill one another to escape..!"

"First went Togami at the party... TeruTeru was the one who killed him, he was executed right in front of us. After a while, another motive was instilled..." Peko freezes, her face going blank. "That game... Twilight Murder Syndrome... that damn game!," Peko stands and slams her hands on the table. She looks at Mahiru, "How are you alive..?! How am I alive?! THE YOUNG MISTRESS!!" Angry tears are now running down her face, face red indignantly. Mahiru flinched, "Just wait! Continue telling us what you remember and everything will make sense, I beg you."

Peko is heaving, she looks down at Fuyuhiko. Her eyes are filled with fear and hate. "It's okay, Peko. Just continue.," Fuyuhiko says, pulling her gently back into her seat. "Young Master played the game... And it was revealed to us that, no, we simply remembered that Sato had killed the young mistress... And, in turn, Young Master killed Sato... When he found out, he was distressed..."

Her eyes roam back to the worried looking Mahiru, " Young Master wanted to talk to you, Mahiru .. But, you wouldn't even look his way... Honestly, so many things are a blur. There was a beach party, and I was invited. Meanwhile, Mahiru and Hiyoko were going to meet up alone. Young Master concocted a plan, almost seamless. It was fine until Mahiru decided to... decided to..!" More angry tears fall, "Tell him why revenge was WRONG! Young Master lost control and grabbed the bat he had hidden..."

Peko speaks quietly now, my heart is twisting and turning. This hurts to hear, absolutely hurts to hear. "You all know how the trial, went. I played the part of Sparkling Justice and got everyone to vote me as the killer so that Young Master could escape the island while everyone else... would be sacrificed..." She looks down at the ground, "But, things did not go as planned... Young Master couldn't say I was just his tool. He said he never... wanted... a tool..."

 

Her face softens with realization, "Only me, he only wanted me...," She looks at Fuyuhiko, "Young Master!" She lunges out and hugs him. I smile sweetly as Peko cries, entire body shaking. "I'm sorry, Young Master... I'm sorry for not listening..!," the woman apologizes profusely. Fuyuhiko runs his fingers through her hair, "Stop saying sorry, I don't deserve it... And how many times I gotta tell you to cut that young master crap out..? I'm going to explain everything, alright?"

Peko nods and Fuyuhiko tells her exactly what happened. He doesn't leave out a single detail and by the end of it, Peko is sobbing into her hands. "The Young Mistress..! I can't believe it's really true... Young Master, I am not worthy to be your tool... Falling into despair is utterly unforgivable..! I am not worthy to be a member of the Kuzuryuu Clan!" Fuyuhiko chuckles, he shrugs, "None of that shit matters anymore."

His eyes sadden, "The clan's probably gone. Even if it's not, we can't get back to it... But, that's alright. I was never one for that shit, anyway. I'm not your Master anymore, I'm simply a childhood friend, now." Peko sobs harder, what she's been apart of all her life is gone now. The reason she is the way she is. Peko discarded her humanity for the sake of the Kuzuryuu Clan and now it's no more...Her heart must be so heavy.

Pitiful Mahiru talks, "I'm sorry, Peko. For everything I did, in and outside of the program. I truly apologize from the bottom of my heart...," She stands and bows, "Please, forgive me!" Peko steels herself, "I'll forgive when my Young Master does..." Fuyuhiko crosses his arms, "Then, you already forgive her." Peko looks at him with wide eyes but then shrugs, "I guess I forgive you, then. A tool does... Nevermind." Already, trying to break her bad habit, I commend Peko.

Fuyuhiko comments, "Now, all we have to do is get rid of that God awful habit of yours..." Peko nods, closing her eyes, "Forgive me." Fuyuhiko, instead, grabs her hands, looks into her eyes. "Peko Pekoyama...," he starts, cheeks pink, "This is so fucking sudden but I've been waiting for you to wake up and... shit. Um, what I'm trying to say, god dammit, I'm saying that..."

"I love you. Not as a tool or a friend. I'm completely and utterly in love with you."

Peko just stares for a few moments before tears prick her eyes and her cheeks are a rosey color, "Young Master..." Her lips pull into a smile, a good natured, pure one. A tear falls as she places a hand over her heart, "Young Master... If I am permitted so... I love you, too."

"I never thought I could feel it this way but I realized on the island... When talking with Hajime, when I figured out all I wanted to do was make you smile, of my own free will. It all suddenly made sense, Young Master, I...," Peko ran out of words to say. Fuyuhiko put a hand on her porcelain cheek, their eyes meet. I ball my fists up, heart pounding in anticipation. They lean in and kiss, I can't help myself but to clap. I'm grinning and Ibuki joins in. Akane whistles, "Way to go, Baby Gansta!"

I look back at Souda, he almost looks a little jealous. I hear the snapping of a camera and I know Mahiru is taking photos of this monumental moment. This monumental moment, two people in love being reunited. It's a happy day for all of us, a day we all hope to have. I look at Hajime. His eyes startle me, they're so cynical. It's the face he makes when he's about to call something boring. A face similar to my very own disappointment.

For Hajime, everything must fade into red not grey. But, an angry, overtaking red. I stand, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Hajime, you okay?" He doesn't answer. His eyes are blown wide as he stares at the ground. "Hajime..?," I'm worried. I dare say that I'm scared. He turns his nose up, hand grabbing my arm that's on his shoulder. His grip is tight. Tight. Too tight. It hurts, it hurts a lot. I wince. "Ha...jime..?," he won't answer me. His grip tightens once again and I let out a quiet yelp.

Suddenly, he lets go, as if my arm burned him. I see that my skin is red with a hint of purple, bruised, with nails marks. He looks at me, "I'm sorry, I'm okay, sorry!" Hajime suddenly seems back to normal and I always wonder. Is Hajime the Hajime Hinata we knew or just Izuru Kamukura pretending? Or perhaps, do they fight for control, two people in one? I don't know but God would I like to. I smile nervously, "It's fine, I'm okay."

I turn back around, Fuyuhiko is holding Peko in his arms. Her head is on his chest, eyes shut, breathing calm. I say, "Perhaps, we should leave them alone. We'll all be able to catch up with Peko soon enough." Everyone nods, everyone giving the new couple a goodbye. Hajime glances over his shoulders, eyes full of pure envy. I want to reach out and put a hand on his shoulder, but... Well, anyways, I sit with Ibuki outside the building. It's not long until we hear joyous laughter erupting.

"I don't know, shut up!," we hear Fuyuhiko yell in good nature. Oh my heart flutters, I get this warm feeling in my chest and it spreads all throughout my body. I can't stop smiling, I'm so happy. I didn't think this feeling was possible anymore but here it is. Electricity under my skin. Soon, I'll be in Fuyuhiko's place. The excitement is almost too much to bare. I cheer for no real reason but Ibuki doesn't seem to mind as she joins in. What a rambunctious girl.


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the lack of chapters, my parents threw a fit and took all of my things (phone, laptop, tablet, everything) I will try to be back soon!!

UPDATE: PLEASE, GO TO NEXT CHAPTER FOR THE CONTINUATION OF THE STORY!!


	12. Pets; "You can pet them if you want!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia spends some quality time with Peko and learns a lot about her!

After Ibuki and I conversed for a while, also listening to Peko and Fuyuhiko's conversation, we retired for the evening. I fell asleep without a problem, so this morning I woke up and quickly sat up in bed. A smile slides onto my face, as I throw my covers off. I really want to talk with Peko, today. I wish to know how she's feeling and just get reacquainted with her, I missed the swordswoman. I sprint into the bathroom as tropical birds chirp happily, I brush my teeth while doing a little dance. I haven't been this happy since I was in the program, well, when there wasn't a trial going on. My mind spins, I start thinking of the last moments we were in the program, the giant Junko Enoshima, Future Foundation, I shake my head. I'm not going to think about that stuff right now, what matters is the present and the matter of getting dressed! I put on a green, spaghetti strap shirt with black short-shorts, calf-high green socks and my black sneakers. I also put a green and white bow in my hair. I think I look rather cute today! I skip out of my cottage, giggling for no real reason. 

Today is such a beautiful day, you know? It just feels me with hope and joy, I begin to hum. My eyes slide shut but that's not a problem, I know the layout of the island like the back of my hand, how could I not? Just as I'm thinking this, I bump into someone, forceful enough that I fall back. I look up, wincing a little, "Sorry!" I giggle apologetically as I finally realize who I hit, it's Hajime. He's simply standing there, looking down on me with those analytical red eyes, face stony and cold. I put my hand out, expecting a little help. I don't get any so I laugh nervously and stand up, "Sorry, Hajime. Uh... You okay? You look upset." He looks me in the eyes before shrugging, "I'm fine, I guess." This worries me, that bored and tired look in his eyes, he reminds me of myself when I was filled with disappointment. "You got something on your mind? We can talk if you need to!," I suggest and he shakes his head.

"There's no need. I already know the answer to all of my own questions, the bad and the good."

Hajime walks past me, our shoulders brushing as I stare wide eyed. I glance over my shoulder, is Hajime really alright? Certainly not but he won't open up to me, I'll have to get Ibuki to investigate because they're rather close. I take a deep breath, settling my nerves and relaxing my shoulders. I wiggle my fingers and remember what I wanted to do and begin to smile again. I jog to the dining hall, eager for breakfast, as well. Before I know it, I'm walking up the stairs and I say good morning to a very focused Ibuki. She's drawing but her eyes seem distant as she lets her hand illustrate what's inside of her heart. She doesn't reply but I won't hold it against her, I open the door and the first thing I'm greeted with is Souda screaming while Fuyuhiko is howling in laughter. "STOP, I'm so serious, I'm about to actually start crying!," Souda yells and Peko says, boredly, "You're already crying." Souda wipes at his eyes furiously as he sniffs indignantly, "AM NOT!" I giggle as I round the corner to the couch, "What's going on here?"

Peko answers, "Souda and the Young Master are playing a game together, but Young Master keeps cheating by bumping Souda's car off the track." I stick my tongue out, "Awe, c'mon don't be a cheater!" Fuyuhiko responds, "If the game lets you do it, it's not cheating!" Souda yells, "You can only do it if you GLITCH on the corners so the game doesn't let you do anything, you break it!" I agree with Souda and Peko covers her mouth, eyebrows drawing up and I think she might be smiling. I shake my head, another giggle just barely escaping as I turn to Peko, "Do you have a moment? I would like to talk." Peko looks a little uneasy so I quickly add, "Just to catch up, I missed your company!' She nods and slowly stands, glancing at Fuyuhiko she says, "I am heading out, Young Master." Fuyuhiko nods and waves a dismissive hand, she must have had to announce whenever she was leaving when they were younger as not to cause any panic. Plus, I'm sure Yakuza are just like that. I don't voice any of these thoughts nor do I allow them to show on my face, I simply clasp my hands together and smile.

Peko and I leave out, passing Ibuki who hasn't moved an inch, we open the gates and go into the pool area. We sit at a table together, enjoying the sun as I begin to speak, "Peko, I'm so glad you woke up, for all of us and especially Fuyuhiko, he was missing you an awful lot." She nods as her cheeks turn a pretty pink, "Yes, he told me so and a lot of other things, as well..." Oh yeah! I grab her hands and she looks surprised by the sudden contact but I don't let go, "You both confessed to one another, how amazing!" She nods slowly, averting her gaze. Who would've thought that Peko is a timid kind of girl... "I'm so happy for you both, you will most certainly live 'happily ever after'! You're happy, right?" I feel it's a dumb question but it's too late now, I've already asked. Peko nods enthusiastically, "Of course, Young Master has made me the happiest person alive. He even... made me a 'person' and now he's allowed my heart to love!" I shake my head,

"Peko, he's always wanted you to be a person and love. He hasn't allowed a thing."

The other woman's eyes appear to get misty as she snatches her hands away and wipes at them, "Why, yes, that is true... Sonia?" Her voice is small and timid, she lowers her hands and looks at me expectantly. "Yes..?," the word leaves my lips slowly but not hesitantly. I take in her features. Her short, grey, wavy hair that falls effortlessly and blows prettily in the gentle island breezes. Her full lips, naturally a pretty shade of red. Porcelain, blemish and scar free skin. Deep and entrancing red irises that tell a story of adventure, pain and love. Long, thick black eyelashes that tickle her cheeks when she blinks. Peko really is gorgeous and I feel my cheeks heat up at the thought, I look down into my lap. I've really got to stop staring at people! Peko inquires, "Is what Fuyuhiko told me true..? I would never question him! But, I wonder... Is it true about Chiaki?" My heart drops just a little, my eyes saddening as I ball my fists up. "Yes, sadly... There is really no way we can retrieve her AI either, at the moment. Maybe, we'll figure something out someday...," I reply. Peko nods.

I say, "It's a shame, really. Chiaki is the glue that held us all together, that kept us from falling apart and the compass that told us where to go, what was right and what was wrong... I miss her." Peko nods once again, looking into her lap with sad eyes and lips out in an unconscious pout. I try to cheer her up by saying, "Don't worry, I'm sure with Future Foundation and Souda, we can do it!" Her eyes light up, "Yes, I believe so." Thinking of Chiaki... She's the whole reason Hajime didn't fall into despair, she's who we need. I wish she could just snap Hajime out of it! But, Ibuki will just have to do. I suddenly ask, "Peko, you like animals, don't you?" I swear I see her lips pull into the smallest smile as her eyes fill with joy and she sits up straight, "Yes, I love animals! Especially, small fluffy ones like bunnies and the like!" I smile, heart lifting, "Well, I don't have any bunnies but I have some hamsters and a gerbil, would you like to meet them?" Peko gasps, cheeks turning pink in childlike excitement before she makes a gloomy expression that perplexes me. "I am sorry to inform you, but, I may like animals but they certainly do not like me back..." I shake my head, "Impossible! Animals only hate bad people and you, Peko, are not bad!"

Peko looks like she wants to argue with what I just said but she doesn't get a chance to as I grab her wrist and begin leading her to my cottage. "It'd be great if you could help me take care of them! I can't ask Ibuki because she'd honestly forget, not Akane because she'd probably try to cook one of them, Fuyuhiko already told me no," I continue to list off why everyone else already couldn't do it. When I finish Peko asks, "What about Mahiru?" My face darkens, grip tightening as I look at the ground, "I will never ask her for anything..!" I can feel Peko tense up, she is probably taken back by what I just said but I loosen my grip and continue as if it never happened. "Some days, I really just can't take care of these guys on my own!" Peko cocks her head to the side, "Why is that?" I simply shrug, "Sometimes, I'm busy or simply just depression." I don't think much of it but I glsnce back once again and see that Peko looks sad as she utters a quiet, "Oh..."

I laugh, "Don't sound so down, it's just the honest truth, but I'm fine, really!" She nods and for some odd reason, I feel like Peko and I are growing closer already. I open the door to my cottage and sing, "Little ones, I've brought a friend along~!" GDI, Dark Star-Nightly Curse, Galaxy Wish and Warrior Heart all make cute little noises in response. I wonder if I should tell Peko that I named GDI for Fuyuhiko, I decide not to. I go over to my dresser and pick up their cage, already making little faces at them. Peko steps slowly and cautiously behind me, as if trying to hide her aura behind my own. I turn and smile at her, holding the cage towards her. I smile, "You can pet them if you want!" Peko looks at them, hand slowly reaching out, Just as she does, all of them run to the back of the cage and her face drops. "See? Animals don't like bad people... meaning they wouldn't like yakuza like me... I've done a lot of bad things for the sake of the Kuzuryuu Clan, Sonia." At first, I don't know what to say, how to make her feel better. It comes to me and I swallow thickly...

"These guys get along hella fine with Fuyuhiko, Hajime, Ibuki, everybody! And, well, if I can be completely honest. None of us are the best people."

Peko looks up at me with wide eyes, "Sonia..." I simply nod, "If I was a Remnant of Despair then I can assure you that we've all done horrible and terrible things but that doesn't make us bad people. So, just because you were apart of a mafia does not inherently make you a bad person, Peko!" I close my eyes and take a deep breath, "The reason that they won't open up to you is because you have a guard up. You're keeping a distance from them! You're being too cold. You have to relax your shoulders, smile, and allow them to enter your heart!" Peko looks uneasy as she sighs, letting her eyes shut, she wiggles her fingers. "Okay, I'll try.. I don't have the best smile, but.... Just don't look." I nod and close my eyes, I hear nothing for a few moment until I hear the cage being opened and gentle squeaks. I slowly open one eye and see GDI in Peko's hands as she smiles at him. Her face is unbelievably gentle and calm, she looks so natural like that. Light streaming in through my window, catching her just right. Peko looks like some kind of animal goddess, I start to smile as I fully open my eyes, "See?" It's funny that GDI is the one she picked, as well. Beautiful coincidence. She wiggles her nose, mocking GDI's actions and I almost die from just how cute this scene is.

Then, that's when it happens.

Peko's lip begins to quiver as her eyebrows draw up, I'm caught off guard. Her eyes tear up, a stray tear falling down her cheek as her lips continue to wobble. "Peko, what's wrong?!," I'm alarmed and for good reason. Her joyous and calm gaze meets mine, "I'm just so happy..," I realize now that she is indeed smiling, "I've never been able to hold an animal like this. Ever since I was a child, I've always wanted to..!" I smile again, relieved that nothing is wrong and happy that I gave Peko this experience. I feel like Gundam will be proud of me for this. More tears fall as Peko makes a quiet noise, "Thank you so much, Sonia..! I will never forget this! All my life..." she trails off and sobs once more. I put a hand on her shoulder, "You can come see them whenever you want! You've got to help me, after all!" Peko looks at me, eyes big and filled with wonder, she looks like a happy kid, "Really..?" I nod and she asks in a happy yet feeble voice, "Promise?" I laugh, "Promise!" Peko smiles at me and I realize...

Peko is a lot sweeter than I thought.


	13. Sketches; "It hurts..!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Sonia and Ibuki finally get through to Hajime?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fluff angst??? And sorry this was so late, my wifi has been really spotty lately and I've just been kind of bummed out so I hope this chapter is good!

Peko stayed for a little while, when she left, I decided to lay down. The bed is big, nice and soft. Warm, too. Even so, I don't feel tired, I did just get up. Pounding knocks come at my door, startling me. I sit up quickly and run to the door, throwing it open with wide eyes and beating heart. "What's wrong?!," I yell in fear but get no response. When I take a breath, I find I'm looking at a wide eyed and quiet Ibuki. Her lips crack in a sheepish smile as she laughs, "Sorry, did Ibuki scare you?" I sigh in relief, closing my eyes. I shake my head, a laugh falling from my lips. "Just a bit. It's fine, so, what's up?," I inquire and the words barely leave my lips before Ibuki pushes into my cottage. It's only then that I realize what the singer has in tow. Her sketchbook, cover black and chic. I smile again, I'm curious now. Ibuki turns around and holds the book to her chest, "You haven't seen what I've drawn, yet!" I nod, "I'm eager to see, blow me away!" Ibuki opens it, turning to the page. My jaw drops, I freeze for a few moments. I can feel my heart stop for a few moments, "Ibuki..." She's beaming. I swallow, throat suddenly dry. 

"Has Hajime seen that..?"

Ibuki shakes her head, "No, Ibuki hasn't seem him today. Why'd you ask that?" Honestly, Ibuki..? Really... That drawing is beautiful... It's a headshot of Komaeda with the biggest, happiest smile on his face and a pretty blush. Flowers all around, the words 'I HOPE I'm LUCKY!' scrawled in beautiful letters at the bottom. All especially breathtaking because it's in color. I can't take my eyes from it, I can feel my hands start to shake. For some reason I can't pinpoint, my throat is getting tight and my eyes sting. Trembling fingers reach out and grab the notebook, "Hajime... needs to see this... like now..." Ibuki looks perplexed and worried as she steps toward me, eyes full of concern, "What's wrong? Ibuki's drawing made you sad, I'm sorry..." She looks at the ground, balling her hands into fists. "I'm sorry...," these words make me fill with guilt. I shake my head, "No!" Wide eyes meet my own, "I'm not sad! It's just... so beautiful that it brought me to tears..." Ibuki flushes a pretty red, covering her face, "It's not that good, really..." I grab her arm, shaking my head once more and flinging the tears from my eyelashes.

"C'mon, we're finding Hajime, okay?," I ask but it's not really a question. The girl in question just nods and follow behind me. We check the dining hall, behind it, his cottage, the pod room, and no luck. Ibuki sighs, "It's no use." I refuse to give up, this is just what he needs. I speak quietly, "Lately, Hajime doesn't seem alright... He spaces off and says these confusing things... He doesn't smile, anymore..." I turn and look Ibuki in the eyes, my voice breaks pitifully,

"He's in pain, Ibuki!"

She stares at me with wide eyes, lip trembling in a mixture of fear and sadness. I continue, "Seeing this might bring him some joy, you know? He really misses Komaeda a lot and we all know... Komaeda's chances are even slimmer..." I hear a broken sob and I close my eyes, not wanting to gaze upon a face meant to be happy in tears. "Let's go and give him this, give him some hope...," I finish. Between sobs, I get a reply, "Ibuki just wants... everyone to be happy... especially Hajime..!" I know you do, I know... After a few minutes, the other girl's sobs ten into quiet whimpers before dying off into little sniffs. I open my eyes, slowly bringing them to Ibuki's face. The corners of her eyes are a cherry red from wiping her tears, a brown sweater is not a good substitute for a tissue you'll find. I smile at her, "I'm sorry I made you cry but I had to get my point across." She nods, "I-it's okay, I understand. Ibuki straightens her back and we begin walking again, this time to the sea shore. From far away I see two figures. One sitting at the edge, unmoving. Another far from it, bustling about. Our strides increase in speed and soon enough I find that the sitting figure is indeed Hajime. Ibuki and I both smile at each other, I whisper, "You do the talking, you two are closer..." Ibuki nods, face filling with determination. We let go of each others' hands and I can't even remember when we started holding hands, but that doesn't matter/

The artist of our little island timidly walks up behind Hajime, feet dragging in the sand, long, pale and dainty legs exposed by her khaki short shorts. She bends down and taps the other on the shoulder, she seems to have startled him out of deep thought. Deep, searing red eyes stare her down angrily before flicking to me. I gulp but stand strong, balling my fists up in determination. His voice is rugged and irritated, "What do you want ?" Ibuki is shaking, fucking SHAKING! It's odd, too odd. To see her so afraid and so fragile, it's bring back bad memories... "I-Ibuki has a pr-pre-present for you..!," She stutters out, voice shakey. Hajime winces, he looks agitated by her volume of voice, he replies, "What?" Ibuki opens her sketchbook, flipping through some pages before holding it to her chest, "We-well, it's not the best and... Just do-don't-" A sigh interrupts her, "You're boring me." Ibuki looks at him like he's just said the most revolutionary thing to ever be said. I see her swallow, hard. Her knees are shaking even worse and her eyes look misty, oh God, I can't watch! I close my eyes and charge forwards.

I say a little louder than I should've, "Ibuki is hella talented, ya know?!' Hajime glares daggers at me but that's okay. At least that gaze isn't focused on Ibuki anymore. I glance at her, she honestly looks queasy. I say, "Go on, Ibuki. Give it to him." She hands Hajime the sketchbook, he snatches it from her, nose turned up. He sighs as his eyes slowly slide open and he looks at the drawing. Hajime's eyes widen, I see light and wonder circle around his irises, a sharp intake of air enters him. "Ko...maeda...," his voice is quiet and vulnerable. I see a familiar sight as he lip quivers, he sniffs. Tears are brimming, "Komaeda!" Tears rush down his scarred cheeks, a few dripping onto the paper. I sigh in relief, my heart finally beating normally and I can feel my hands again. I feel fingers on my shoulder, I look and see Ibuki is hiding behind me yet watching Hajime over my shoulder. Hajime hugs the sketchbook to his chest, beautifully ugly sobs escaping his lithe frame. He just keeps crying and crying, it's so loud, too. But, I can't help but to smile and I know Ibuki is too. In an instant, she's hugging him. I hear him say, "It hurts, Ibuki, it hurts..! I miss him so much and everybody else... are getting all these signs... I just want... Komaeda back!" My heart breaks but I stay silent. "Oh God, I don't know what to do anymore..."

"I'm in pain!"


	14. Apologies; "Things are getting better"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mahiru and Sonia make up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. First, I was doing personal writing, then I marathoned the BNHA manga (which all of you should read) and then my WiFi went out. And everybody was confused like "riigghhtt moneeyyy" lmao, sorry guys.

"Do you... do you think he'll wake up..? Even though, he's sick...," Hajime's voice is shaking, he keeps hiccuping and he's trembling. "Of course, of course, we have hope and he has his luck... It's gotten him this far, I know it'll wake him up. No matter how difficult this might be, will be, we're going to get through it.," Ibuki encourages. I swallow thickly, "I'll be at the lodge." I turn and jog away at the same time pitiful Mahiru does, as well. We both jog beside each other, I can't help but to keep glancing over at her.

"Is there something you want, Sonia?," She asks and honestly startles me. "H-huh..? Oh, nothing, I don't want anything..." I just keep staring at her, I can't even figure out why. "Sonia, you know... I'm not holding a grudge over what happened." She catches me off guard again, I tense, "Over what? Nothing happened! Oh, are you talking about when you woke up? Oh, oh, ohh, I'D FORGOTTEN-FORGOTTEN!!" My heart is pounding and I feel nervous, my throat is dry and i absolutely don't understand my own actions.

Perhaps, I feel bad..? I dont know, I don't know! Why would I?! She's the one who's wrong, she's the disappointment! She's the one who woke up when no one asked her to and... Well, no one asked Ibuki to wake up, either but that's different! She's... Ibuki is... I look back at Mahiru who's eyeing me weirdly and yell, "THERE'S NOTHING TO HOLD A GRUDGE OVER, STUPID!!" Mahiru puts her hands on her hips, "Hey, no need to yell. And seriously Sonia, you said some wildly traumatizing stuff!" Wildly traumatizing?!? Nothing should be able to 'traumatize' any of us, anymore!!

"Sh-shut up, I didn't do anything wrong... I-I just told you... I'm...," I know exactly what I did wrong. I know how I messed up, I know how I fucked up. "I'm sorry, Mahiru... I'm the one who's pitiful." Suddenly, I'm embraced, pulled into a warm hug. "You're not pitiful, at all. You just messed up, you're human, it comes with the territory." She laughs and a weight lifts off of my shoulders, I didn't even know it was there. I guess I became so used to it being there that I became numb...

I feel warm and relieved... The next thing I know, I hear sobs and woah, those are coming out of my mouth. Fingers are running through my hair, and circles are being rubbed in my back. How can she... be so kind..? Today, I'm just not getting anything. "I'm sorry for what I said... I'm sorry!," I keep apologizing and Mahiru just nods, making small humming noises. We stay like that for a little while before she says, "Hey guys."

I look over my shoulder, Ibuki and Hajime are walking this way. I sniff, feeling cold tears on my face and shot on my lips. "O-oh, he-hello!," I try to compose myself. Mahiru still has an arm around my shoulder, I wipe my face with my arm. Ibuki laughs, "Goodness gracious, what a tear filled morning!" We all laugh and walk back together.

When we enter, Peko and Fuyuhiko are sitting and Fuyuhiko notices Mahiru and I, his face lights up with a smile. I smile back, things are getting better and can only get better from here.


	15. All I wanted; "I missed you a lot..!'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 2,000+ words and took me five hours to write. Please enjoy it everyone, I hope it's all you wished it to be!!

Things are looking up and I don't know if I want it to change. This moment right now is almost  
perfect. Almost. So, I guess there is one thing I'd change that this world seems intent on  
withholding from me.

Oh, Gundam… I can feel my previous pep fading and Akane says, “Hey, what’re you gettin’  
your face all twisted up for?” I open my mouth to reply, to lie and say I'm fine but I'm  
interrupted…

Sirens blare, cutting through our serenity violently and loudly. Once again, there's the shared  
initial shock before we begin to shout and run. No matter how many times we do this, my heart  
still pounds and my eyes still sting. It still takes a few moments for me to register I'm running  
down the clean, white hallway. Akane is just before me and Peko is beside me, I guess we are  
the most physically adept though looking at me you wouldn't guess I'm often told.

I hear Mahiru muttering something or another about Hiyoko but I couldn't possibly care less right now. My mind is on Gundam and Gundam only. He has a promise to keep, a pinky promise! Deep within my heart, I'm praying that it's him. And through my ragged breathing I hear sobs break through and then I feel tears rushing down my cheeks.

The sound of the large double doors being pushed open crashes into my ears and I let out a strangled yell, of what I'm not sure. The fog and mist further blinds me and burns my lungs, still I know my way around even though I wish I didn't. I finally say something that I myself can understand,

“GUNDAM!!”

I'm running towards the pod I hope with all my soul that he no longer sleeps in. The pod I hope he's sitting up from, taking in the world I kept him updated on. I almost trip over one of the many cords that litter the floor but the key word is almost. Funny enough, I hear footsteps following behind me. Why is that? I take in a gulp of air and I've found his pod. All I can do is stare…

 

There stands Gundam…

He's tall, looming over me. His bangs are black, grey and messy as they cover his left eye. A long black trenchcoat adorns him, the upturned collar ripped just like the bottom of it. The bottom is covered in old dirt and blood stains. I swallow, frozen and just staring. I should be scared but… I'm not. Everyone is silent, not saying a word.

The red eye I've stared into before slowly looks this way and seems to glow as it lands on me and me only. I stare right back, Gundam looks unsure and confused. Like he doesn't know who he is or who I am and because of that, I take in shuddering breaths.

Tears rush down my face, my heart is pounding and squeezing, it hurts but it's warm. It feels good. I take a step forward before I just can't control myself, I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his torso and hugging him. I bury my face in his chest, sobbing, “Gundam!! I missed you so much, Gundam!!” I don't get a reply and Ibuki says, “Sonia… maybe you shouldn't…” Someone shushes her before Hajime says, “Gundam, do you recognize any of us? It's me, Hajime.”

I feel Gundam shift, probably looking down at me because Hajime starts to say, “And that's-” Gundam interrupts him, voice deep and gruff yet familiar,

“She Cat…?”

My heart swells, eyes widening before I nod vigorously, “Yes, It's me!” I feel somewhat unsure and hesitant arms wrap around me, I hear a boisterous and heartwarming laugh, “Fwuhaha, daring, aren't we?" I reply without thinking,”Haven't I always been?”

I hear several sighs of relief and Ibuki starts to laugh, an innocent laugh, “YAY~!!” Hajime speaks, I can hear the smile in his voice, “Let's take you to the infirmary and there's quite a bit we need to explain.” Gundam nods and lets his arms fall. I suddenly feel cold and disappointed, heart dropping.

I just want to hug him forever and never let go, I've waited so long to be able to talk to him and touch him, just to know he's really alright. I let go but circle around him, hugging Gundam from behind and smiling again, an audible sigh of content leaving me.

Gundam stutters, “Sh-She Cat?” I hum before saying, “C’mon, to the infirmary~.” Fuyuhiko starts laughing, “You're gonna have a hell of a hard time peeling her off of ya.” I close my eyes as we begin to walk, listening to Gundam’s heartbeat. A few stray tears of happiness leave my eyes.

Finally, finally, finally. I hear Fuyuhiko shout in surprise, “Pe-Peko?!?” I hear the animal loving girl reply, “I wanted to hug you.. Is this alright… FuFuyuhiko?” Said man splutters causing me to open one eye and I find him blushing like crazy. Gundam laughs heartily, “Thwarted so easily, mortal?” Fuyuhiko spits back, “Shut up, dammit! You know, your face is looking pretty red, too!” I smile harder, my own face heating up at the fact and I can hear Gundam’s heart speed up just a bit.

I poke Gundam’s stomach,laughing there's a lot of that going on, “Is that so?” Gundam doesn't even get a chance to say anything before Akane and Ibuki coo, “Yup~!” Mahiru starts laughing, “Honestly, you guys…” I feel a twinge of guilt, this is the exact opposite of her welcoming back into the world. Even so, there's no changing the past, all we can do is continue to mend our relationship.

I'm still hugging Gundam when we enter the infirmary, I reluctantly let go so he can sit on the  
bed, Hajime pulls up two chairs sitting in one and patting the other. I nod and sit down in front of  
Gundam, cautiously asking,

“So… what do you remember?”

Gundam raises an eyebrow before closing his eyes, “Mm… Let's see. I recall the my first day attending Hope's Peak Academy. Yes, we’d all assembled in one classroom, I believe.” I nod. He continues, “None of us could remember how we’d gotten there, not even me. Hajime was the last to enter, we introduced ourselves to one another… shortly after that is when that wretched bunny came along, proclaiming to be principal and that we were going on a field trip.”

Hajime says, “Monomi, yes.” Gundam shrugs, not caring, “So, using some magic, she teleported us to an island. And Hajime, you passed out.” Gundam rolls his eyes and Hajime laughs sheepily. “Some time after that, we were informed that in order to leave the island we had to get to know each other and collect Hope Shards or something or the other.”

I laugh, “Hope fragments.” Gundam looks at me before correcting himself, I swell with pride because he cares about my corrections, “Hope Fragments and I remember thinking that I refused to do such a thing and I’d simply use my dark magic to leave but I soon found she’d nullified my powers when I wasn't looking!” I respond, pushing air out of my nose and putting a hand on my chin, “She must've!”

I see Hajime glance at me with a tired smile. Gundam then says, “Then, some of the mortals decided that we should go swimming. I did not, instead I chose to make a castle out of sand that resembled my own in the underworld!” He's smirking now and I clap my hands, “Ooh~!” Hajime shakes his head, “Continue.”

Gundam seems to sullen up, “In came the bear, declaring that we had to kill one another to leave the island. Preposterous, I thought not a single one of you could ever… Ever do such a thing. Even when Fuyuhiko shouted off his nonsense, I worried not.”

“The large mortal” I interrupt, “Byakuya.” He corrects himself again, “Yes, Byakuya suddenly decided that we should have a party and that he would not allow a single one of us to lose our life.” Gundam laughs sadly, “The poor fool… He ended dying because he saved the hope obsessed-"

“Komaeda.”

Hajime corrected rather forcefully, voice having an edge. Gundam picked up on this, “He saved Komaeda and because of this, was murdered. In the darkness, I'd also lost my Hellhound Earring so I did not partake in the investigation of sorts. Afterwards, the first trial of many was conducted and the perverted mortal was the culprit.”

I nod, “Yes, that's correct.” This continues on and Gundam correctly recounts every event, occasionally speaking of the time we’d spent together with ,dare I say, a slight smile. Then, he gets to the strawberry and grape houses. His voice seems much stronger and willed than before, “I talked to you, She Cat. You were not well, and of course, I’d made you promise not to die without my permission. Not… Not you. You just couldn't.” 

He looks into my eyes, we stay like that for a few moments. He leaves some things unspoken, my confession of fears and desire to escape. Him calling me his first and closest friend… I grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight and telling him that I felt the same.

I realize I've grabbed his hand in the present but neither of us care. Gundam slowly starts again, still staring into my eyes, “Then, I had a conversation with you, Hajime. After that, I…” he looks to the floor “Well, you all know, I set up my plan and Nekomaru and I we battled… I came out victorious. Of course, Hajime, you fiend, you figured me out in no time.” Gundam laughed. 

“She Cat, you fought valiantly for my life but I fear it was not needed. I'd accepted it, already. Accepted my…Eh?”

I quickly speak, “This is where things get complicated. You didn't die, it turns out… all of that wasn't real. Well, our feelings were but the island was not. We were simply inside of a simulation and Ultimate Despair, Junko Enoshima had implanted an AI into the program so it became infected. Because of that, we had to kill each other. So, you didn't really die you were just in a coma after we left the program.”

Gundam digests that information, “Ah, is that so..? I'd felt something was off, so I guess… What I did was in vain.” I jump up, “That's not true! Because of you… I was able to keep moving forwards, I made it to the end. I didn't lose my life and when we woke up, I waited here for you!”

Gundam lets out a long sigh before patting me on the head, “I'd hope so.” I feel there's a hidden  
meaning behind those words. Hajime says, “There's a few other things... “ Gundam says  
“Ultimate Despair? Yes, I know.”

Hajime and I’s jaws drop, “How is that!?” Gundam scratches his cheek, “Well, I suppose when I was in my coma…”

“I could hear your voice, She Cat.”

I gasp quietly. Oh… Oh… Ohh. Gundam looks up at the ceiling, “I… I've come to terms with it…” I lean forwards, bringing him into an awkward hug. “I'll leave you two alone to talk.” Hajime says, getting up and leaving out. I say, “So, anyone who was murdered or executed in the game was put into a coma. So far, Ibuki, Mahiru and Peko have woken up. Now, you.” Gundam nods, “I should consider myself lucky. Besides…"

“You kept your promise so I had to keep mine.”

I can feel myself blush, “So, you really did hear me?!” He nods, a slight red on his pale cheeks. Speaking of cheeks, there are scars on both his cheeks. They're… hella cool! “Can I show you around the island? It's a little different than you remember!,” I ask and Gundam responds with his own question, “Is it really alright for me to be out and about so soon after waking up?” 

I laugh, “Don't worry about it! Ibuki was up and running around just an hour after waking up so I'm sure a stroll is fine!” He nods and stands up, geez, he really is tall. I have to look up at him now, well, even more than I used to. I link arms with him and lean onto him. I peek up and see a blush on his cheeks.

As we’re walking, I point to the tree we're under, “One time, a snake fell from a branch and it startled me so bad that I yelled, haha!” Gundam throws his head back in a guffaw, “Fwuahaha! Such things should not scare someone like you, especially since you are friends with the Lord of Ice!” I laugh, “Of course, of course!” After that, we went to the beach shore and sat.

We watch waves crash onto the shore with lazy smiles, the sun long having said goodbye as the sky is filled with stars. I gather up the courage to ask, “What did you mean by that earlier?” I specify, “When you said you hoped that I would make it out alive.” Gundam pauses before looking at his hands, “During my execution… that alchemy circle I created… The spell was…"

“A spell to protect you.”

I gasp, pushing myself off of his side and looking at him with wide eyes. “Gundam, I…” my voice weakens and I feel a familiar feeling bubbling in my chest. He looks at me worriedly as I say, “Thank you.” I feel a few tears fall down my cheeks, tears of gratitude. 

Gundam waves his arms around frantically, “No need for tears, She Cat!” And I laugh, wiping  
my tears uselessly, “I'm sorry, I can't help it! I missed you, a lot!”

I swallow thickly, grabbing both his hands with my own, “Gundam, I… I really care about you. Like hella care. And I know for sure that, I want to be with you until the very end. You made things bearable and… Because of you I was able to keep living… even when things got tough, talking to you is what made it bearable... “ He's looking down at me, eyes full of an emotion unknown to me. I inch closer,

“Gundam, I love you.”

There's a pause and my heart stops before dropping. That was too much and too soon. He's  
probably never even thought of me this way, and he's just woken up and I'm not good enough for him. I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid!

Suddenly, I'm pulled into his lap. Gundam’s arms are around my waist, his head on my shoulder as I sit on his lap. He whispers bashfully,

“I love you too, Sonia.”

There's an odd noise that leaves my throat as a heavy weight lifts off my shoulders. There are butterflies in my stomach and my heart is absolutely soaring, I start to sob. I'm too happy for words right now. His embrace tightens, “When did you become such a crybaby, She Cat?”

 

Obviously when I lost you.


	16. The Stars; "So... I'm your girlfriend, now?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gundam and Sonia spend the night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really freaking fun to write?? I have a really good feeling about this chapter, I'm proud of it! Plus, it's my birthday today! This is you guys' gift, a little backwards but meh!

Gundam held me in his arms for a long while, until my sobs were just small sniffles, still I held on tightly to him. I never want to let go. Suddenly, Gundam begins to stand, I almost fall before his arms secure me and hold me in place. Slowly, I wrap my legs around his waist. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and bury my head in the crook of his neck as Gundam begins to walk. I feel so small and protected. I still can't believe it...

It almost feels a like a dream, a dream I've dreamt far too many times. "I love you so much.," I whisper, voice hoarse. A quiet chuckle before, "Love you, too." is my reply. I feel a spark within me, I smirk, "So, I'm your girlfriend now?" Gundam laughs, "Much better than that! Fore I am the Overlord of Darkness, Lord of Ice, Ruler of the Underworld, you are my Lady of Darkness, Queen of Ice and so forth, my darling!"

I wasn't a expecting such a wholehearted reply, I can feel myself blushing and my heart is pounding. I whisper, "So, I'm important..?" Gundam replies, "Of course!" His voice gets sweeter, "But, you've always been important to me, She Cat." I smile harder, yeah, I'm in love. Suddenly, he stops walking. "We've arrived at your cottage.," I'm informed. Ugh, already?! I wanted to stay with him a little longer, close like this. I hear Gundam remark, "My lady, honestly, your door is already open. You shouldn't be so careless."

I shrug, "No thieves so what does it matter?" Gundam sighs before scolding, "Animals that you can't tame could wander in!" His voice gets sly, "Or perhaps, you want me to come save you?" Once again, I'm blushing as I retort, "I would never do something so silly!" I hear my door creak open, and I guess Gundam doesn't plan on putting me down anytime soon.

I feel him tense as he slowly says, "Oh." I wonder what happened, before I can turn and see, I hear Peko's voice, "Oh-I'm sorry-I didn't-I was just-hamsters!!" Gundam is obviously confused, "Huh..?" I begin to laugh, "It's alright, Peko. Thank you." Gundam slowly lets go, I unwrap my legs from him and land gracefully on the ground. Peko's face is an embarrassed shade of red and she's averting her eyes. I hear her squeak out, "Pardon me for intruding, I'll leave so you two can... have some alone time."

Gundam turns a shade of red not unlike a cherry and I fear I'm the same, "PEKO! Just WHAT are you implying?!" Peko makes some odd noises as she waves her hands around, "Well, isn't that how-in the movies-come in like that-YOU KNOW!!" Gundam covers his face with that red, tattered scarf of his, "I apologize, my Lady, I had no idea what I was implying!" I can't help but wonder where his purple scarf went, the one with the pretty symbol on it.

It's most likely long gone. When I snap back to reality, Peko is shuffling past us and out the door. Gundam is still covering his face and I begin to laugh. It's a loud, joyous laugh. I haven't felt joy like this in a very long time. Joy where I can laugh to the point of tears with nary a worry. I go and sit on my bed, shoulders shaking as I continue to giggle. I pat the spit next to me, signaling for Gundan to take a seat. Said main takes a deep breath, reveals his face and does as I wanted.

I lean over and grab my furry friends from my desk, I hand the cage to Gundam. "Look what I got~!," I proclaim. Gundam looks at them with fondness before, once again, he tenses and his eyes widen. He says, "Jum-P, Cham-P, Maga-G, Sun-D..!" It's like he's calling for them, the Four Dark Devas of Destruction. My heart sinks, the Devas were nowhere to be found when any of us had woken up. Makoto informed us that they probably died a long time ago, during The Tragedy.

I remember crying, sad for my furry little friends and Gundam. I'd forgotten. He calls them again, doing a familiar pose, expecting them to appear on his hands and shoulders. The mistiness of his eyes suggests he knows all too well What's going on in, even his voice is weak and shaky. It reminds me of a much more awful event, the awful event that saved and destroyed me. I quietly say, averting my gaze, "The Devas, they.... passed away..." I hear Gundam and he sounds upset yet trying to be strong, "Is... Is that so..?"

I nod sullenly. Slowly I bring my eyes back to him. He's frozen in that pose, arms shaking, yet a quivering smile on his face. Slowly, he relaxes, putting his arms down but the shaking doesn't stop. It only gets worse, as does his voice, "I suppose... even my Devas had a lifespan... They've gone back to Hell without me, huh..?" I nod, tears brimming in my eyes. I hear a pitiful excuse of a laugh, I wipe my eyes and look back to Gundam. My heart falls...

He still has that weak smile but tears are falling down his cheeks. I see that smile chip and crumble as a few sobs escape his mouth. "That's... odd. What is it... that I'm shedding tears for..?," he asks but I don't know what to say. I set my own pets aside and hug him, not allowing my tears to escape, "It's alright to cry. You've had the Devas for a long time... When I get a memory, a good one, of when we truly attended Hope's Peak Academy, you always had them... At every event, your little buddies would help."

Gundam just cries harder, a little louder and I tighten my embrace."You're crying because... because you loved them. They were your friends.," I finally answer his somewhat rhetorical question. Now, he's full on crying. It's harsh on my ears, I can feel tears wetting my shoulder. A few stray tears slip from my eyes, damn, I won't cry. I need to be strong right now. I've had my time to cry, now I have to comfort him.

"I just wish... I could've been there...," he says, weakly. I quickly respond, "Who knows? Maybe you were..! You'll get a memory any day now." He just nods. After holding him for a few moments, I hear a few familiar squeaks. I release Gundam and look down, Dark Star-Nightly Curse is in my lap. The cage must've been open from Peko. Gundam looks down at her, the corners of his eyes are red from tears and a little snot is coming from his nose. It's somehow cute and heartbreaking at the same time. I grab Dark Star and the rest of her friends, putting them in Gundam's hands.

Slowly I say, being careful with my words, "I named these for you... The little black gerbil is Dark Star Nightly Curse. The blonde hamster is GDI. The baby with brown and white is Warrior Heart and the black hamster is Galaxy Wish." Gundam's eyes light up as he sits up straighter, "Lovely names, my Lady."

Then he makes a face of confusion, "What does GDI stand for..?" I blush before laughing nervously, "Well, his fur reminded me of Fuyuhiko, so... GDI stands for God Damn It." Immediately, Gundam rolls his eyes, "Really?" I can only giggle. He shakes his head, "Leave it to you for such a name." I tell Gundam, "They're yours." He looks perplexed so I say, "I got them so we could take care of them together. And you could teach them some neat little tricks."

Gundam smiles, "How kind of you!" I'm not sure until what time we played with our pets, all I know is that Gundam was able to teach them several tricks in a single night. He's not the Ultimate Animal Breeder, for nothing! And I do remember the way our night ended... I fell back onto my bad, yawning. "Do you remember where your cottage is or shall I show you?," I inquired. There was a long pause before Gundam answers my question with his own, "There's no harm in me staying here tonight, is there..?"

I sat up, eyes wide and he spluttered, "Not in that way, My Lady! It's late, I'm quite tired, I'd like to stay with The Stars for a little longer!" I think it over before saying, "Sure, there's no harm in it as far as I can see. I and The Stars are glad to have you, love." He smiles and I smile right back. Our furry friends scamper back into their cage as I burrow under the covers, holding them open for Gundam.

Awkwardly he shuffles in and there's an odd space between us before I sigh, rolling my eyes. "I'm your Lady of Darkness, Gundam.," I state this before cuddling shamelessly with him. I kind of enjoy the way I can hear his heart pounding. It's nice and...

It matches my own.


	17. Happily Ever After: Part 1; "Of course!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia and Gundam's morning together. Breakfast with everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in so long, I'm so terrible!! It's just I wasn't in a writing mood a lot and I was focusing on some other things buutt with all the beautiful DR3 stuff we've been getting, I finally had inspiration!!

I slowly opened my eyes and found the slight crack in my curtains was allowing a slither of sunlight into my room. I feel something shift and look down, I'm met with Gundam's peacefully sleeping face. His cheek is pressed right up against my collar, his arms wrapped around my waist, I smile. He looks so cute like this, the sunlight hitting him just right. So innocent...

Like a vice, a memory snaps around my neck and chokes me. I struggle to get air back into my lungs as I can vividly see a group of individuals, all clad in suits, the Future Foundation standing and staring me down. Not just me, but all the others. I hear a camera snapping photographs, I can see Mahiru just out of the corner of my eye, a crazed look in her own. Next to me is Ibuki, holding a guitar that also acts as an axe, she cackles, "This next tune I'm going to play is called 'Kill Hope! Go Die, Future Foundation!'"

Ibuki, stop, the Future Foundation is going to help us. I know my muttering can't change the past but I do it anyway. My past self laughs, "I can easily outnumber you all, I do have an entire country under my control!" I feel sick to my stomach, is that really my voice? So twisted and demented, so disgusting! I shiver, nausea racking through my body, I fear I may break into a cold sweat. Though, I can at least tell I'm hyperventilating. A man brushes past me, I look up at him, his hair is long and black like the crumbled street we are stood on.

His eyes are red like the apocalyptic sky, yet his skin is pale like a pretty marble long gone in this world. It's Hajime-no-Izuru. Hajime is nothing like Izuru Kamukura... Peko is on his left and Fuyuhiko his right. I see the woman draw her beloved sword. My throat is dry, I'm choking, and gasping. I can't breathe. My chest is tight and my heart is pounding. I'm shaking, and I'm disgusted, and scared and-

"Sonia..?," I hear Gundam's voice cut through the fogginess of my mind. Soon after, I can feel his warm hands on my shuddering shoulders. I can feel myself being brought back to reality, it's slow but I'm thankful for it. "Are you alright?" He asks. I don't know if I am. I hear a voice, small and feeble and I suppose it's mine, "I'm... not sure." My lips are even trembling. I feel Gundam's hands go from my shoulders to my cheeks, making my eyes meet his own. 

"What is it?" He urges. I lick my lips, willing them to move, "A memory... a horrible, horrible memory..." My angel makes a face of sadness and I feel absolutely guilty. I shouldn't have burdened him with myself. I'm not good enough, I'm just dirty and broken. I'm much too fragile, it's sickening. I have the nerve to call others pitiful when here I am, shaking like a leaf...

I'm hugged. 

"I had a dream last night... It was of when we originally attended Hope's Peak... It was odd. The Gamer was there... She'd brought some games for us all to play, that Wretched Mechanic had built the screen we used... It felt oddly real. Well, all of us partook. Even the Little Yakuza... You were rather good at it. I'm not so sure about myself other than the fact I was sabotaged by Nekomaru..!" 

I think before replying, "It's... weird. I remember that... I'd played with Mikan, Mahiru and... Chiaki. Ah, that is odd!" Gundam runs his fingers through my hair, I relax further into his embrace. "I wonder..." is all he says. I have many questions now but perhaps, we've both just had similar dreams. We stayed like that for a little while longer before I went into the bathroom and began to get dressed as Gundam left to do the same in his own cottage.

We meet back up as we're walking, it seems that we're both unintentionally matching with our main color being purple. Akane chirps as she races next to us, "How cute~! You little love birds!" I smile and laugh, Gundan hiding away in his scarf as that familiar blush colors his cheeks. Peko exits her cottage, her eyes land on us.

She squeaks, turning bright red and quickly walking ahead. But, "Ah, Peko, you left your door o-" before I can finish my sentence, Fuyuhiko exits and closes the door behind him. A devious grin pulls at my lips, I run and catch up to Peko, practically tackling her from behind, "SO, did you two do what they do in the movies last night?!" Peko yells, "Miss Nevermind, that is not appropriate pre-breakfast conversation!!" Her voice breaks in the most adorable way.

Fuyuhiko yawns, "No. She half way bored me to death talking about rabbits." I look at her and she adverts her gaze, blushing bashfully. I laugh, "That's even better." Peko lets out this odd, breathless noise. It takes me a few moments before I realize... that was a giggle. I yell, "PEKOOO!!" She looks at me with a slightly irritated expression, "What is it?!" I jokingly say, "I didn't know you could laugh!!"

Peko rolls her eyes, "Well, of course I can, I'm..." She smiles and looks at Fuyuhiko, "I'm human." The yakuza smiles right back, my heart soars at those words. Peko is human. Not a tool. Finally she knows this. It feels good. Oh, we've arrived at the dining hall... When on earth did that happen? Mahiru opens the door for us, "Good morning, Jabberwock Island inhabitants~!" She announces like a talk show host.

We all collectively pause before Fuyuhiko mutters, "The hell was that..?" Mahiru blushes, "Me welcoming you!! Geez!!" I start to laugh once again. Today is going to be much greater than my morning panic attack had caused me to think. Today will be amazing, I can feel it. When we enter, going up the steps, I can hear Hajime and Souda bickering. "Souda, the last time you set the table, there was hair in everyone's food!" Souda yells, "THAT WAS ONE TIME!! You gotta give me another chance!!"

Hajime doesn't respond. "Please? Soul Friends, remember?!" Souda uses his secret weapon and I was absolutely expecting Hajime's sigh of defeat before a quiet "c'mon." I smile. Ibuki is sitting at the head of the table, drawing but her eyes seem unfocused. Once again, I wonder what she'll draw. I take the seat closest to her, Gundam next to me. Hajime sits across from Gundam, Peko sits next to him with Fuyuhiko. Akane sits next to Fuyuhiko and Mahiru next to her.

Souda comes out with several plates, setting them down in front of everyone before taking his own seat in front of me. Breakfast is going swimmingly as it is filled with chatter, laughter and friendly bickering. Suddenly, Ibuki makes a small noise. Before I can even direct my attention to her, a scream rips from her throat as she jumps from her chair. In the process she knocks several things over, water and different condiments.

"Ibuki, are you alright?!" Hajime and I ask in unison as we stand as well. Said girl doesn't reply, she just covers her ears and slowly sinks to the ground. "No, no, no..!" She mutters, voice slowly getting louder. Her breathing is loud and harsh, I see tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. I drop down to my knees, "Ibuki, what's wrong? You've got to tell us what's wrong so we can help!" She's shaking all over.

"Ibuki... Ibuki hates that woman!!" She screams. Hajime looks back to the table, eyes landing on the singer's sketchbook. His eyes go wide. I ask urgently, "What is it?!" Hajime's face comforts into sadness as he picks the book up and turns it towards me...

It's a flawless drawing of Junko Enoshima.

Junko is standing there with her tongue out, holding a guitar, her face mocks me. In a pretty yet rugged cursive it says, "I've always hated Light Music, anyway!" I now understand why Ibuki is so appalled. She trusts her hands to draw those who she cares about but her own mind has betrayed her. Her subconscious still somewhat admires Junko or maybe just can't forget about her. Either way, seeing her sends a chill up my spine. Ibuki mutters, "I hate that woman, hate, hate, hate..! She's the one who made us kill each other! She's the one who tricked Mikan and she's the reason why we're in this mess!!"

I reach out a hand, my fingertips barely brush Ibuki's shoulder before she shouts, "Don't touch me!!" I recoil at the rejection. "Ibuki, look at me." Hajime's voice is kind, gentle, understanding. Ibuki shakes her head. "Ibuki, please." He begs. Slowly the girls turns around, Hajime bends down and says, "Junko Enoshima is dead... We don't have to worry about her anymore. She's dead and her AI has been utterly destroyed. We're safe now, you won't ever have to do bad things because of her ever again." Ibuki's painful looking grip on her ears lessens.

Hajime holds up the picture, before Ibuki can react he rips it in half. "The villain is gone. We can live happily ever after with all of our friends when they wake up." Ibuki's voice shakes, "You promise...?" And without any hesitancy nor a slither of doubt in his eyes, Hajime smiles and replies, "Of course."


	18. Happily Ever After: Part 2; "I'm sorry!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Sonia and Gundam's morning. It only gets sweeter and sweeter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so shit at updating, I'm sorry. I have no excuse this time. I guess, personal writing but that's still not fair to you guys. I hope this chapter is worth the wait. Also, shameless plus, please follow me on instagram @majestyomg4l

I look back at the table and see Mahiru and Peko cleaning it up. Hajime helps Ibuki up like a prince would a princess. He also picks her chair up, she sits down in it lightly. A shakey exhale and I smile. "So who made breakfast?" I hear Gundam ask. Like that, the mood snaps back, "I DID!! Good, right?!" Souda proclaims loudly, a smug grin on his face. Gundam narrows his eyes, "Well-..." he sighs and smiles, "Yes, it tastes great."

Souda freezes before a blush creeps on his cheeks and he scratches the back of his neck, "Really, you think so..? Haha, thanks!" I feel a fire lit in my gut, I sit down on Gundam's lap, and huff. "Don't go getting any ideas! Gundam is mine!" I cross my ears and can't maintain my fake frown when everyone starts to laugh. Well, almost everyone.

"Sh-She-Cat! Yo-you-Don't-Can't just-SONIA~!" My name leaves Gundam's mouth in an embarrassed whine. I start laughing, looking back at him. He's red as a tomato and spluttering. I can't stop laughing. "It's fine! I'm your girlfriend now, remember?" "STILL!" He yells and God, why are you so freaking cute? Fuyuhiko chimes in, "C'mon, Sonia, you're torturing the poor guy!" And I swear I can hear Souda mumble, "Torturin' me too..."

"Ahahahahaha!!"

Woah, where'd that come from? I find the source is Ibuki, both her hands are on the table and her head is thrown back as her shoulders heave. She's laughing. Laughing really hard. It's pure and sounds like music. "Ibuki really loves you guys!" There's awe and silence as we all stare at the beautiful girl in front of us.

Akane puts her foot on the table and points her chicken at Ibuki, "WE LOVE YOU TOO!!" Ibuki just laughs some more and Hajime yells, "Akane, take your feet off the table, WE EAT HERE!" Akane takes that as an invitation to put all of her limbs on the table and running across on all fours, "HA-JI-MEEEE!!!" He shrieks and Mahiru yells, "Hajime, MAN UP!"

Gundam shakes my shoulders, "You're still on my lap!" I can hear Fuyuhiko cursing and I'm just laughing, laughing, laughing. This is chaos. Pure and utter chaos but I absolutely would not have it any other way. These are the people I love and treasure. That warm feeling is bubbling up inside me and about to burst, I feel giddy so I have to do IT!

I spin around on my beloved's lap, smash my hands against his cheeks and kiss him. He's rigid and maybe I shouldn't have-nevermind, he's kissing right back. I pull back and wrap my arms around his shoulders, "I love you, I love you! Every second with you, I love!" Gundam hugs me back tightly, "I love you too." He laughs and I lessen my hold.

He takes advantage of that, Gundam hooks his arm around my waist and the other behind my neck. He leans me back a little and starts kissing me over and over on my cheeks. It tickles and I giggle. God, I love this man! Seriously, what did I ever do to deserve him? I must've been a saint in my past life, there's no other answer.

All those despair and grey filled months have been absolutely worth it. And I can hear a camera snapping like crazy. Ibuki is making all sorts of 'aww' noises and Fuyuhiko is yelling for us to get a room. Holy shit, this is perfect! I hear Hajime say, "Souda, you're cleaning all this up." "Awe, what?!" Is his reply.

This blissful noise that's music to my ears, these kisses on both our cheeks, all of it stops cold. That sound blares. I'm frozen. There's no way. It's been mere days. No, I'm hearing things. I swallow thickly but I know I'm lying to myself because of the way Hajime is looking at the stairs. The way Ibuki's jaw drops. How Mahiru has let her camera go and now it hangs around her neck.

"What is that?" Gundam hoarsely says. I wriggle out of his grasp and that hurts to do but finally I say those magic words, "Someone's waking up!" We all break out running, Gundam looks confused but gets the memo quick enough. When we're all shoving and pushing down the stairs, Gundam hits his head because he's so tall and it would've been comical in any other situation. Fuyuhiko and Peko are ahead of us all, Fuyuhiko almost trips but Peko stops him.

Once we make it to the bottom, we're still all stuck together. Mahiru breaks out ahead and she pushes against the door. It doesn't open. Peko does the same to the other. We all start pushing against it, panicking. Hajime looks ready to pass out as he's hyperventilating, "Are we trapped?! Again?! Please, God, no, no, NO!" Ibuki starts to panic even more at those words. Wait... We're... 

Oh my God.

I pull Mahiru and Peko back by their shirts, a little forcefully and pull the doors open. We all look at each other with a shared thought of, "We're fucking idiots." That brief realization passes and we break out running again. I grab Gundam's hand, leading him. Akane quite literally kicks the door open and we're much later than usual, I can tell by the way the fog has started to clear. I don't have anyone to look for anymore, I follow Ibuki for moral support. She goes straight to Mikan's pod.

It's open!

But, it's empty... Where is she? Hajime's face looks horrified and suddenly his eyes sharpen as he starts to scan over the room. "Mikan..?" Ibuki calls out, voice shaking with several emotions. We all split up and go searching in different directions. As fate will have it, we all end up back together again. All sights set on one thing. The figure crouched down in the corner. I can hear that familiar sobbing. We all slowly inch forwards. 

"Mikan? Is that you?" Ibuki is the one to call out and I think that's best. In the darkness, Hajime's eyes glow. He's cautious, ready in case she's still in despair. It is a concern. That is how she 'died' after all. "Mika-"

"FORGIVE MEE!!"

Her voice rings out in a heartwreching, painful sounding scream. She's crying, her voice breaks. Her wide amethyst eyes meet us, hands covering her ears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me! Please, please, PLEASE! I know I don't deserve it, I know I'm filthy, I'm sorry!" Ibuki drops to her knees, unable to savor this moment as tears fall.

"Mikan, please." Her voice is desperate. "I'm finally here..." Mikan cries. Here? Finally? Hajime cocks his head to the side, his shoulders still squared. "Th-this is hell... You're going to torture me by having me eternally bullied by the ones I love..!" That would be the definition of hell for her. Sorrow fills my heart. Many days I had wondered why we treated her so cruelly. Why we never stopped Hiyoko's teasing. Why we let her bare the cross during the disease.

Why did we let her break?

I cover my mouth, I feel sick. Gundam pulls me into his chest, a hand on my head. I feel the nausea lessen. I crane my neck to see, Ibuki is frozen. "I'm sorry, I don't deserve forgive-" Mikan is interrupted by Ibuki hugging her. "Thank God, you're awake! I was so worried you'd never wake up! Mikan, I did something I haven't done in a long time, a bad, bad thing 'cause I wanted to see you! Mikan, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE SORRY ABOUT!"

Now, it's Mikan who is unmoving. Ibuki is crying into her shoulder, Mikan's eyes are wide. It's like she's staring at us but I know her mind is elsewhere. "Guh... gwuaah!!" Mikan starts to wail. "IBUKIII!!!" 

"I'm sorry, Ibuki..! I didn't want to! My body just moved on it's own and I remembered! All the time we'd spent together... You always helped me and saved me from bullies! AND I HURT YOU! I'M SORRY!" Mikan apologizes profusely. "Ibuki knows..! Ibuki knows it was all Junko's fault. I know that you're sweet and kind..." Mikan cries harder. There's shared relief in the room. Mikan quietly says, "So, I made it to heaven..?"

Oh, right. She still thinks she's dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's meant to end like that


	19. Izuru Kamukura; "It's..!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia wakes up early, as do Mikan and Ibuki. Hajime reveals a truth and Izuru is bored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! The rest of my fics are also getting updated today! This was a lot longer than expected!

Once again, we're all seated in the dining hall. Hajime just explained our circumstances after she'd tearfully and fearfully recounted all that she could remember. Currently, she was crying into Ibuki's chest with a mouth full of 'thank you's and apologies. I just looked at them because I can see now that Ibuki is smiling softly, just cradling the girl and running her fingers through her hair.  
Gundam slides his arm around my shoulder and brings me in close...

 

It's been about a month since that day, our momentum has slowed down considerably. No one's even showed any signs of waking up, every day Hajime, Akane and Mahiru visit their comatose lovers. I wish them luck in my heart and tell them to have hope everyday. Akane always says she's not worried with a big smile but she's getting thinner and she has bags under her eyes, she's so tired.

It hurts. But, every now and then there's something that sparks hope and happiness. Whether it be someone baking, or everyone swimming together, group walks on the beach, the little things. It's when I'm playing the game, alone as it's quite early. No one else is awake, I didn't want to disturb Gundam. The door opens and I hear Ibuki's voice, "It's okay. Ibuki bets no one is even up! It'll be fine!"

I turn around and am met with Ibuki leading Mikan by the hand, both clad in pajamas. Ibuki is wearing black boy shorts with a white tee, old scars on her thighs slightly visibly in the luminescent light from the television. Her eyes widen, my heart hammers in my chest. Uh oh, I'm not supposed to be here right now, apparently.

Mikan squeaks, cowering behind Ibuki and covering her face. "I-I'm sorry, i-it was rude of me to ju-just a-a-assume no one was here..!" Ibuki immediately interjects, "I'M the one who said no one would be here, not you." Mikan slowly nods. I ask, "I'm sorry, am I ruining something? I'll leave." Mikan looks about ready to faint and shout at the same time. "Not really. Mikan and Ibuki just wanted to play, Mikan wants me to teach her how to play racing games!" Ibuki smiles.

Mikan nods once again. I scoot over to the edge of the couch, "Have at it." Ibuki plops down next to me whilst Mikan slowly and politely sat down, starting to play. I watched Ibuki try to teach Mikan what button does what but it was honestly a fruitless effort. The poor nurse was just too anxious and overly nice to her fellow drivers."

I got up from the couch, going up the stairs and into the kitchen. I root around in the fridge, Oh, there it is. I wanted a bottle of root beer and I've successfully found the last one. It was hidden away, most likely by Souda but I'm just too smart. I start to giggle, I'll have to apologize later. I spin around, whistling a very old song my mother used to sing. I try not to dwell on the memory of her smiling face, I fear I may... see something I don't desire to.

I skip down the stairs with very little noise, stealthy like a ninja. And it's because of this that I'm met with Mikan sat in between Ibuki's legs, Ibuki's head on her shoulder, hands over her hands as they play together, fingers pressing the same and different buttons. Ibuki is doing about half the work as Mikan frets under her breath, with a drift they cross the finish line. 

Mikan blinks at her screen for a few seconds before a big smile slides onto her face, "I did it! I finished the race!" Her hands let go of the controller, leaving Ibuki to hold it, she starts to clap. "I did it! I did it!" She cheers. Meanwhile, Ibuki has the warmest smile on her face and her eyes are filled with all the love in the world. 

"Hey, Mikan, look."

Mikan stops clapping, opening her eyes to gaze at the screen. There stands her name at the very top of the board, first place with miles more points than the CPUs. The girl just stares in awe before tears well in her eyes. "I... I did good..! I did a good job! I got first, I got first!" Ibuki kisses her cheek, "Yeah, you did." Mikan wipes her eyes but it's a fruitless effort as she continues to sob, "That's the first time... I've ever won first!" 

Ibuki's eyes widen slightly, as do mine. My heart is conflicted. It flutters for Mikan's happiness, her innocence. But it also hurts knowing she's gone her whole life either being last place or not even allowed to participate. She's so sweet, she didn't deserve anything that happened to her. Ibuki just says, "With those skills, you'll always be first! Not to mention..."

"You're first in Ibuki's heart." 

Mikan freezes, slowly turning around. Ibuki smiles at her, "I love you." My heart pounds, I feel guilty for witnessing this intimate moment yet I can't look away. Mikan turns around, placing her hands on Ibuki's shoulders. She squeaks before blushing a pretty shade of pink from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She squeezes her eyes shut, making yet another strangled noise as she slowly leans forward. 

Mikan is trying to kiss Ibuki.

Ibuki smiles softly before closing her eyes and puckering her lips. When Mikan finally gets there, it's just a quick peck. Said girl covers her face with her hands, "I-I'm sorry, th-that was sudden..!" Ibuki almost laughs, as do I. That was the furthest thing from sudden! Mikan peeks between her fingers at Ibuki. "I love you, too." Ibuki just looks at her before bringing her in for a hug. Mikan seems unsure of what to do with her arms but accepts it.

I tip toe my way behind them and out of the building, once I'm outside, the sun begins to rise. I take a deep breath, the fresh air feeling and smelling nice. And then I start to laugh. I don't know why, but there's a joy in my soul that has to be relieved. And the only way I can do that is by laughing, so that's what I do. If you'd ask me from just six months ago, this would have been impossible. Laughing, smiling, seeing any color but grey, falling asleep in Gundam's arms, all of it.

Speaking of Gundam, here he comes with a wild bedhead. He looks utterly irritated. He wipes his eyes cutely before pointing at me, I jump. What is it?! "She-Cat!!" He yells and I look behind me, am I being attacked?! "WHAT?!?" Why are we yelling?!

"What are you doing up?!" He yells. All concern leaves my body, my damn soul almost leaves my body. I thought something was happening, goodness. I shrug, sighing in relief. I ask the same pointed question, "Why are YOU up?" He narrows his eyes at me but he pauses, then he blushes. Eh..? I'm so confused... He's managed to confuse me two times in two minutes.

"I woke up because you weren't in bed with me... I was worried..." Gundam informs me, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. I cry out in French, " L'amour ... Tu me tues!" Gundam cocks his head to the side, "What?" I pull at my hair, "You're killing me, love!" "What did I do?" He asks.

I just sigh, "Tu es trop mignon, Tu es trop mignon." Once again he asks, "Okay, what does that mean?" I laugh, "I'll never tell!" He deadpans before rolling his eyes. "You know too many languages, my lady." I laugh, "Don't I?" Gundam starts speaking in, well, I don't know. Is it tongues? A demonic language? Something made up?! He starts laughs as he's looking at me, continuing. I narrow my eyes, making sure to speak clearly, "Love, I will throw you in the pool."

He stops.

There's silence before the both of us start laughing. I ask, "Why did you stop?" He looks at me like I've just asked the dumbest question in the universe, "She-Cat... Novoselic teaches children how to operate tanks, I will not be taking any chances." And THAT is what kills me. I laugh so hard that I start crying, I love this man. I hear a familiar voice, "What on earth are you guys doing?"

" Ayant un grand matin!!" I reply in French without meaning to, before I can translate or even apologize, " Il est à peine matin, mais bon pour vous." I freeze, looking at the source of the voice. Hajime rubs the back of his neck, I gawk. "Hajime, you know French?!" He shrugs, averting his gaze, "Well, not myself but..." Oh, Izuru must know French. That would make sense as he must also have the talent of the Ultimate Translator. 

"I have a question." Gundam gruffly says. Hajime looks at him, "What is it?" With no hesitation or softness, Gundam inquires, "What exactly is the situation with you and Izuru Kamukura." I softly gasp, "Gundam-" "No, it's fine, Sonia." Hajime assures me, I bite the inside of my lip and just watch. 

"I AM Hajime Hinata but I share memories with Izuru Kamukura and I've also regained my memories from my time in the Reserve Course... I have some of Izuru's abilities, not all of them. Izuru still exists within me, he's still there and very much conscious. I have control but Izuru can take over if I allow it or if he wants to badly enough. I've had very few problems with the latter, though."

My eyes light up, "Woah, that's amazing! So, can I talk to Izuru?!" Hajime pauses like he's thinking, no, listening. "I mean, I could switch over," he laughs, "but, I doubt he'd talk." Gundam shrugs, "Even so." Hajime shrugs before taking in a slow breath and closing his eyes. I wait patiently, heart thrumming in my chest and fingers shaking from excitement. I feel ready to burst. And then, Hajime's eyes open...

The slits of green are gone, purely red and they look much more cynical. This is Izuru Kamukura now. I almost squeal. He sighs. Gundam looks very interested, "Izuru Kamukura..?" Those red eyes flick over to him, Izuru speaks, voice lower than Hajime's, "What is it?" I gasp, "It's really you!" He grimaces, "You're acting like a rabid fangirl... What do you want from me, I'm bored." I laugh, "I don't believe we've ever been formally introduced." 

Izuru says, "I've seen you before, same for him." I still stick out my hand, "That's not good enough! I am Sonia Nevermind, former Ultimate Princess." Izuru looks at my hand, I don't think he's going to respond but he rolls his eyes, lightly and quickly shaking my hand. "I need not for an introduction..." He averted his gaze, voice low and disinterested. "It was great meeting you." I say. Izuru snorts, "Was it?" Before I can even register his insult his eyes are closed.

My mouth hangs open. How rude! Hajime is back as the slithers of green reappear, "I'm sorry about him, he's so rude!" I laugh, "It's alright!" We all begin walking to the dining hall, I hope we don't interrupt Ibuki and Mikan. We're all silent but it's a calm silence. I suddenly realize something and speak my mind without thinking, "If Izuru has EVERY Ultimate talent, wouldn't that make him an Ultimate Princess?" I start laugh but when I gaze back, I'm met with Izuru, "I'll kill you." I start laughing, and Gundam just looks concerned.

"Izuru!" Hajime's voice scolds. "What? I will not be mocked by-" "Don't insult, Sonia!" "Hajime Hinata, I will make your day a living hell." 

They're arguing. They are literally arguing. They stop by the time we make it into the building, and when we enter, Ibuki and Mikan are cuddling watching an old VHS movie. "I'm making breakfast." Hajime says and takes off up the stairs, half way up I hear him start bickering again. They just want to argue, I laugh. "Good morning." Ibuki sweetly sings while Mikan is halfway asleep.

The door opens behind us, everyone else enters. "Morning!" Akane yells. "Morning..." Souda yawns. Peko waves, Fuyuhiko is basically asleep on her arm. Mahiru is smiling politely, radiating energy. "Who's making breakfast?" She and Akane asks though for very different reasons. "Hajime." I reply. Akane cheers, "Hell yeah!" Mahiru says, " I'll help." Gundam says, "I don't think you should. Er, I mean..." I finish his thought, "Hajime needs some alone time, I think." The redhead frowns but nods.

 

A little while later, everyone is at the table eating. We're just as loud and rambunctious as every other morning. Mahiru is yelling, trying to keep order. Hajime is brooding, I honestly feel bad because I'm the reason he and Izuru are fighting. I shoot him an apologetic look and he waves his hand like it's nothing. In a few minutes, things die down. Everyone is listening intently as Peko tells an embarrassing childhood story about Fuyuhiko. 

When she finishes, we all are leaving and going our separate ways. Mikan and Ibuki, Gundam and I, Fuyuhiko and Peko while Hajime, Mahiru and Akane go back to the room of our comatose friends. I'm cloud watching with Gundam in the grass, I point to a large cloud, "I think that looks like a turtle." Gundam looks and tilts his head, "Where you see turtle, I see squid." What?! "SQUID?! HOW?!" I sit up and point at him, "Get your eyes checked!"

He sits up, "She-Cat, is that any way to talk to-..." He stops. "What's wrong?" I ask, cocking my head to the side as my heart drops. "Do you hear that..?" He says. I freeze and listen intently, holding my breath and willing my heart to slow. There's a slight beeping noise, like a siren. A siren I've heard a few times over. "That's the alarm!" I yell and jump up. Gundam does the same, "I thought so!" I grab his hand and take off running.

I don't see anyone else running towards the building, maybe they're already inside or just can't hear the alarm. I don't know but they need to be here! I kick the door open with my foot, I and Gundam's shoes are noisy against the tile floors. I push the next door open and hear Akane and Mahiru running around. I let go of my beloved's hand and look around frantically. No one I can see is waking up so it mist be someone at the very back of the room! I run and I see three backs all crowded around a single pod. When I make it there, I push past Mahiru.

It's..!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER!! Who is it, I wonder!


	20. Izuru Kamukura; "It's complicated..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this, it took a while because I wanted it to be perfect but it's worth it! I hope you guys like this and I also hope you like KamuKoma because....

Hajime's voice wavers, 

"Nagito..?"

My heart drops. I'm not sure whether or not it's in a good way or a bad way. There's silence as he stares at us. His eyes are dead, there's dried blood running down his chin. There's a collar around his neck that looks a little too tight. His hair is tinged with dirt. "Nagito, it's me, Hajime... Do you remember me?" One could say the boy was handling this well if it's weren't for the tears going down his cheeks and the trembles that resound through his voice and reverberate within his fingertips.

Still no reply, just that blank dead stare. I'm on the verge of tears, I'm worried for Nagito. Suddenly, there's violent and ragged coughing echoing as Nagito hacks. He almost falls over from the force of it, Hajime looks like he wants to help but is too scared to touch the other. Nagito coughs particularly hard before he stops and gasps raspily. Blood covers his hand.

His eyes have life in them once again as he slowly speaks, "How... is this possible?" Hajime lights up, smiling wide. "So, you do remember!" Nagito winced at the volume of his voice but nods. He slowly raises his left arm, I cover my mouth to stifle my gasp but Ibuki and Mahiru do not. There's nothing there. After three fourths past his elbow, there's nothing. Just a nub covered in bandaging. Nagito is not one bit phased. 

His voice is low and slow, "Oh..." Hajime is grimacing, I'm still covering my mouth but now because my stomach is lurching. Mahiru pushes past us, running out of the room, most likely to puke. Mikan is quietly fretting under her breath, sobbing. "There's... a lot I need to explain..." Hajime says. Nagito just looks into the boy's red eyes with a bored expression.

After a long and slow walk to the infirmary, Nagito is now situated in a hospital bed. He stares boredly out the window. Hajime is sitting in a stool next to the bed, staring at the ground with a face of pain. Everyone else but me is standing at the door, I have my hand on Hajime's shoulder as support. Said boy takes a deep breath and starts, "Why don't you start by telling me what you remember?"

Nagito's hand reaches out and swipes the bottled water off of the tray at lightning speed, he downs it a little too quickly before just dropping the bottle in his bed. "Fine..."

Nagito recounts every event with a little too much detail, causing muffled sobs at the door. He finally makes it to just before his death. "Yes, I had learned that everyone single one of us was Ultimate Despair... I was disgusted, I wanted you all dead. The only person who deserved to live was Chiaki as she had no part in our heinous acts. I wanted to kill everyone but the 'traitor'. I knew more than any of you could've imagined. No, I remembered more than you can imagine."

Hajime goes on to explain everything about our situation. The program, the comas and about the fact that Chiaki never existed. Nagito takes it all in stride, saying, "That all makes sense... I did have a few conflicting memories."

"So, you remember being Ultimate Despair?" Nagito nods, "Yes, which is why the absence of my hand doesn't phase me. I know what's happened." Hajime asks again, "Everything..?" The white haired boy isn't even the slightest bit annoyed, "Yes."

"Even about Izuru Kamukura..?" Hajime asked, uncertainty clear in his voice.

Nagito's eyes widen, he lurches forward, grabbing Hajime, "Where's Izuru?!" I'm startled by his sudden actions so much so that I stumble back and almost fall. Hajime looks just as shocked as me because all he can do is stare back at the other.

Nagito screams with a ferocity and anger I've never seen from him, "Tell me, useless Reserve Course student! Where is Izuru Kamukura?! Let me see him, I HAVE to see him!!" Hajime doesn't reply and Nagito freezes, looking into Hajime's eyes. There's a chilling silence before utter confusion breaks it, "...Izuru..?"

Hajime slowly pushes Nagito back onto the bed, quietly speaking with his gaze averted to the ground. "I am not Izuru Kamukura..." he says, pain in his face and voice. The luckster breaks into hysterics, "Well, where is he then?! I need to see him?! Where?!" Tears leave pretty eyes. Hajime says, "He's...here but he is not... It's complicated..." Nagito cries loudly, "I have to see him!"

I find myself yelling, "Why do you need to see Izuru so badly?" I shiver when a purely hateful gaze is directed my way, Nagito speaks lowly, "I need to know what they've done with him." I stare into steely eyes, heart pounding in my ears. My frame shakes in fear. Hajime surprisingly chuckles, "For once, Nagito, I know a bit more than you do."

The angry boy snaps his attention back to the 'useless reserve course student', almost hissing. "This is nothing to joke about, Hajime Hinata!" He's like a wild animal. "You don't really know... where Izuru Kamukura comes from, do you?" Nagito cocks his head to the side, "What exactly would you know about Izuru that I don't ?!"

"A lot, actually." Hajime says rather matter of factly. Nagito growls, yes, actually growls. "This may be a bit confusing but... If it weren't for me, Izuru Kamukura would've never existed." Nagito freezes, completely confused.

"Izuru Kamukura is... a manufactured being. He doesn't truly exist... Hope's Peak Academy wanted to create artificial hope, Ultimate Hope. So, they took a normal Reserve Course Student, me, and began experimenting. They deleted my personality, my memories, and nearly subdued my emotions... They gave me every talent and christened me with the name of the school's founder, Izuru Kamukura."

Nagito's mouth hangs open, drool unabashedly going down his chin as he tries to understand what he's just been told. "So, you ARE Izuru Kamukura?!" Hajime shakes his head, "No, I'm Hajime Hinata. When we exited the game, I kept my memories and even regained them from when we all originally attended Hope's Peak." Hajime smiles, "I am Hajime Hinata."

Nagito just looks at him for a few seconds before I can literally see his heartbreak. "So...Izuru is no more..?" Hajime doesn't quite know how to reply, I can tell. Izuru is still very much alive. Why won't Hajime just tell him that..? Nagito begins to sob loudly, "Izuru..! Izuru..!" Something odd slips through, "Izzy..." I finally gather enough courage to ask another question. "Izzy..? Were you and Izuru close, Nagito..?" Nagito looks at me as if I've just asked the dumbest question in the world.

"Close?!" He throws himself back onto the bed, still crying. "I LOVED him!" He yells, voice breaking. Hajime looks taken back before tears prick his eyes, "You... love Izuru..?" Hajime has told me that he remembers very little from his time as Izuru, and Izuru himself refuses to tell him a thing. 

Nagito turns his back to us and nods. "I'm sorry if that's weird or gross... But it's true... It's really true..!" Hajime balls his hands into fists, "Why..? Izuru doesn't have any emotions, he can't care about anything..!"

Nagito shakes his head in disagreement, "You said so yourself, Hajime... His emotions weren't completely gone... We did everything together, you know? Everything Junko told us, we did together... We went to Towa City, together, too... At first, I didn't love Izuru as a person, not at all. I just loved the fact that he was Ultimate Hope. That he was the world's hope and could do everything..."

"What changed?" Hajime and I ask in unison. "I'm not really sure when the lines began to blur. Maybe when it rained and Izuru actually took the umbrella I brought. Maybe when my bad luck caused a mishap and he said it was, even in just the slightest bit, unpredictable... Maybe when I saw how he hated Junko like me. Maybe when I realized he always took the tomatoes off his food, or maybe when he started giving them to me." Nagito laughs sadly, "I don't know, I really don't..."

Hajime shook his head, "I'm sure he was just using you!" Nagito bursts out laughing, "Using me? For what? I'm utterly useless! Besides... No one forced him to-I never even asked him- to stop calling me boring trash. It was his choice to call me 'Luckster'. It was his choice to drag me behind him everywhere we went." Nagito fiddles with the chain on his collar. "He's the one who didn't reject me..!"

Izuru... must have really cared about Nagito. Hajime seems to relax yet tense at the same time, "Reject you..?" Nagito nods, "He let me hug him... He let me play in his hair and," Nagito sighs dreamily, "He let me kiss him... He held me in his arms at night, "Nagito giggles childishly, "He even took care of my Junko hand for me. He held me when I thought we were going to die and told me not to worry..." I wipe my eyes, trying not to cry. I know what he's recounting. I asked Makoto about it once, what we all did when we were captured...

"They're really shipping us off, huh..?" Izuru remarked with a sigh. Nagito laughed, "You're just realizing that now?" The reply is sharp, "Shut up." Nagito giggles some more and looks out of the small window, "I'm glad you finally started talking. The silence was starting to bore me." 

Izuru could see right through Nagito's facade and he points it out instantly, "You're shaking." Nagito scratches his cheek absentmindedly, "Is that so..? Hehe, I'm just a little nervous. I mean, can we truly trust Makoto Naegi? He is with Future Foundation... We're probably being taken to our deaths right now..." Izuru leans forward, "And that's why you're shaking? How dull."

"I thought you wouldn't mind dying." Izuru remarks. Nagito pipes up, "If it's for hope, I don't mind one bit! So, I'd gladly give my life for you, Izzy!" Izuru rolls his eyes, "I knew you'd say that. How boring." Nagito continues, voice wavering now, "But... We're just gonna get executed. Neither for hope or even despair. Just in angry revenge and that's no good. I'll probably die soon, anyways but... I'd rather die for you or of my disease with you..." Izuru doesn't say anything.

"In short, you're scared, correct?" Izuru asks but it's barely a question. Nagito nods, "Sadly." Izuru looks at the other before lowering his leg and beckoning Nagito, "Come here, then." Nagito's eyes light up as he smiles and crawls over to the 'Ultimate Hope'. "Luckster, you are a feeble being..." Izuru remarks and Nagito hums in agreement. Izuru brings Nagito into his lap, "But, I was the one who decided to stay with you, foolishly."

Nagito looks up at Izuru, eyes still full of sadness and fear. "Even if we die, it will be fine. Junko has already gotten herself killed, so we really were just doing what we pleased. Even if we are not together, Luckster, I..." Izuru trails off and Nagito kisses him. They stay like this for a minute or so, when they finally pull apart. Nagito quietly says, "I love you, too." before hugging the taller. Izuru wraps his arms around Nagito as the luckster lays his head on his shoulder.

The door opens, they both look to see Makoto standing there with a somewhat shocked expression. Nagito is escorted down the left of the hall by Byakuya while Izuru is escorted down the right by Makoto himself. Makoto keeps glancing up at the older, taller man. His bangs are covering his face for the most part but his body language is slightly hostile.

"YOU KNOW I REALLY MEAN THAT, RIGHT?! I LOVE YOU!" Nagito yells, obvious that he's crying. 

Makoto turns and sees Byakuya pulling Nagito along annoyed. "Idiot... You didn't have to go and shout that..." Izuru's voice is what draws Makoto's attention back to him. There's a smile on Izuru's face but what really astonishes Makoto is the single tears that fall...

 

I swallow thickly. Hajime quietly mutters, "So, you don't have any feelings for me..?" He catches himself and then covers his mouth. "Ah, Hajime... I do have feelings for you but at the same time I don't...? It's complicated."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JABDISBSJSBSHAIDB MKAY JUST IN CASE!! I was worried you all might be confused but the reason Hajime didn't just let Nagito talk to Izuru is because he's jealous. But, Izuru and Nagito will talk.


	21. Pure Love; "It's me, Hajime."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito finally, finally gets to talk to Izuru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half of this got deleted, I cried for ten minutes straight and I was going to discontinue this fic. But, my bestfriend encouraged me for a while and I calmed down and rewrote the first half. I hope you all are pleased with this because I'm still extremely proud of this chapter and I think it's wonderful! Again, I'm sorry for taking so long to update! Please enjoy!

To say that things were tense for the first few days would be a grave understatement. It was just Hajime following Nagito around, trying to help him while Nagito called him all sorts of insults. All of us, though, have been making a combined effort to be kinder to Nagito than ever before. We treated him like an outcast during our time at Hope's Peak and even worse inside the program. The only ones who treated him properly were Hajime and Chiaki. Well... There's no use dwelling on the past now, it's all about what's ahead in the future!

"Ooh, that's a cool quote, Lady of Darkness." I hear Gundam say and I blink. I realize I'm standing at the table, "Uh... I said that out loud?" Gundam nods while Akane and Fuyuhiko both "yup" in unison. I slowly lower myself back into my seat, cheeks burning, "Oops..." Akane laughs, "It's fine, I think it was pretty cool!" Gundam crosses his arms, nodding once again, "I have to agree."

Fuyuhiko just rolls his eyes, writing away in a journal Peko gave to him. The covers are a very pretty floral print which, surprisingly, he doesn't seem to mind. I sometimes wonder what he writes in there but I never voice such things, it's obviously full of personal matters. 

Nagito walks in, smiling that fake smile and waving his hand. We all wave back. "Greetings!" Gundam bellows. Akane sticks to a simple, "Sup." I bow a little, "Good morning, Nagito!" Nagito is walking to his seat when Gundam says, "Not going to greet him, diminutive mortal?" Fuyuhiko immediately bursts a blood vessel and I shake my head. "How many times I gotta tell ya?! I'm not tiny!!"

Akane goes, "Ooh, you know what a big, fancy word like that means, Baby Gangster?" Fuyuhiko closes his journal, "It ain't fancy." Akane nods, "Yes it is! If it has more than three siblings, it's fancy!" Hajime, who is just now entering says, "Akane, I believe the word you are looking for is 'syllables'." Akane frowns, "That's what I said!" Hajime chuckles in good nature. He sits down next to Nagito who's face shows tints of displeasure.

I say, "What brings you two here?" Nagito replies sharply, "I'm not with him." I resist the urge to say, 'Aren't you though?' Hajime shrugs, "No real reason, just found I didn't have anything to do after breakfast." Everyone choruses, "Same." The door flies open and smacks the wall, Ibuki races up the stairs with enough speed to rustle my hair and Gundam's scarf.

"Someone's in a hurry." I joke before giggling. "You got that right." Hajime says and I almost chuckle some more. The musician zooms back down the steps with two drinks and Fuyuhiko yells, "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!!" Ibuki doesn't heed his warning and races out, tripping on the first stair and falling. Fuyuhiko sighs, getting up, "What did I fuckin' tell ya?!" I can hear Mikan fretting and Ibuki shouts, "THE POP IS IN MY NOOOSSEE!! IT BURNS!!"

Gundam sighs, "That is her divine punishment for such a stupid act!" After a few minutes the ruckus dies down but Fuyuhiko never enters again, his journal on the table. Akane grabs it, "I'll bring this to him since he ain't comin' back." I nod. Just as the gymnast exits, I can very faintly hear screaming. I turn around, I recognize Souda is the source--and that there is a wrench flying towards the window!!

I screech and duck, Gundam moves over and almost falls out of his chair which I probably would've laughed at if I wasn't paying attention to how Nagito's eyes widened, it being much too late for him to dodge. But, Hajime shot up and caught the wrench with his hand. There's a moment of silence spent in awe.

Nagito's eyes light up, "Hajime! That was such a hopeful thing to do for trash like me!" ...No, something is wrong. Those eyes are much too cold and much too precise to belong to Hajime. Izuru had stepped in, probably without thinking."Hajime..?" Nagito says and Izuru grimaced a little.

His arm slowly lowers, he meets the other's gaze. Nagito's eyes widen as he gasps, jumping up, "Izuru!" The white haired boy's eyes light up, "I understand now! You're trapped within that lowly Reserve Course student! Well, surely you can take direct control so we-"

"Luckster."

Izuru's voice is cold and intimidating. Nagito freezes, looking at the other with wide eyes. "I am not even meant to exist, I do not have the right to assume direct control of this body." Nagito frowns, tears welling, "But... I miss you, Izzy." Izuru nods, "I know. I hear and see all that Hajime does, I know just how much you yammer on about me." 

Nagito starts to cry, "Izzy, please! I'm begging you!" Izuru shakes his head, "We are all finite beings. Myself even more so." I felt my heart drop, what does that mean?Nagito seemed to understand what I did not, or maybe I just refuse to. He hugged Izuru, crying into his chest and repeating how much he loved him. Izuru hugged the other back, he closes his eyes, a single tear falls down his cheek. "I love you too, Nagito." 

The Ultimate Luck's eyes widen, he nods, hand clutching on to Izuru what must be painfully tight. I feel tears gathering in my eyes but I will them back. I'm not the one who's hurting right now, both Nagito and Hajime will need our full support. Izuru stiffens, oh, Hajime must be back. Hajime closes his eyes and relishes the moment for a few seconds before he comes clean.

"It's me, Hajime, now." Nagito nods, not letting go but still crying. "I know..." Hajime looks surprised and I must admit that I am. "I don't...know how to feel right now or even what to say..! I feel like I'm wrong because I fell in love with you, not realizing I was already in love with someone else... Yet, at the same time, I really long for you, Hajime..! This past week has been utter torture but I didn't know how to act!"

Hajime rubs soothing circles in the white haired boy's back as he continues, "My feelings are all tangled up! I love Izuru so much but then, you as well, cared for me! And my heart feels like it's being torn in two so, I thought, if I distanced myself I would stop loving a 'lowly reserve course student' but..! It hurt! All of this hurts, everything I did was for nothing! Chiaki wasn't even real so what was the point?!? My life has been dedicated to hope so to know I fell into despair so quickly-"

"Nagito."

Hajime interrupts the other, his voice stern enough to get Nagito to stop rambling and look up at him through tear littered eyelashes. Hajime puts a hand on his cheek and smiles warmly, "Take your time... I would wait two eternities if it meant I got to hold you for a mere two seconds. Please, just... All I want is for you to be happy." 

Uh... Hajime, that might've just made things worse. My thesis is proven correct when Nagito starts crying again. "Hajime..." Gundam says and the other looks our way. "You are making things more difficult for him, I believe." Hajime frets, "Huh?! Really?!" He looks at Nagito who nods, "Extremely!"

Hajime frets even more, "I'm sorry!" And I start to laugh and so does Akane. I feel like falling down to the floor, that was stressful!! I actually start lowering to the ground but Gundam catches me, "She-Cat, are you alright?!" I nod, laughing a little, "I'm just gonna lay down, that was too much stress, pretty sure my heart stopped for a couple minutes."

Gundam makes a face of shock before pure delight, I'm confused. "How long approximately?! The longest I can still my heart is three minutes, how about you?"..... God dammit Gundam. I shake my head, "I'm tired..."  
"It's mid-morning, dude." Akane says but I don't care, "I will sleep right here on this floor unless a certain someone takes me back to my cottage!" Gundam sighs, shaking his head with a chuckle on his lips.

He swoops me up with ease, he's warm and I can feel sleep already trying to wrap its arms around. Well, almost, Nagito starts to sob as we're leaving again.

 

It's maybe been a month since that day and things have significantly improved, and I mean significantly. I'm walking along the beach and just ahead I can see Hajime and Nagito asleep in the hammock. Nagito has his head on Hajime's chest, a subconscious smile on his lips in his slumber. Hajime is the same. I pause, halting my steps and grinning at them. The sight warms my heart to see. 

Suddenly, Hajime opens his eyes and it startled me so much that I jumped a little. But, even from here, I can feel an intimidating aura. Izuru, I suppose. I take a few tentative, daring steps. As many that are were needed to have a clear view of, yes, Izuru's face. He is smiling softly at the sleeping boy. He looks up at the sky, taking a deep breath. One last look at Nagito before he closes his eyes again. When they open, that amicable aura is back but...

Hajime's eyes are both gold and red. Something feels...different now. Further aided by the way Hajime touches his cheek before smiling, "I suppose you really did only stay for him." 

With that, I must accept what I had known since that day... I truly believe that Izuru is no more. Nagito woke up with a yawn, looking up sleepily at Hajime. They meet eyes, I hold my breath. "...Good morning, Hajime." 

Hajime giggles, "It's noon." Nagito shrugs, putting his head back down on the other's chest. And I see a single tear slip down pale cheeks but also a smile on pink lips...

I grab my chest. Jesus shit you son of a bitch!! About two years of my life just got shaved off, and I can feel my legs are about ready to give out. Izuru, he... Who knew Ultimate Despair could give such pure love...? 

After giving myself a mental slap, I straighten my back, putting on a prim smile and walking past them. "Hey!" I say with pep in my voice. Nagito simply waves with the mechanical hand Souda had gifted him with about three weeks ago, Hajime smiles, "Hi." I look him in the eyes, giving an earnest smile. He suddenly looks very worried, "So-Sonia, what did I do?!"

What he's referring to are the childish sobs coming from my mouth as I smile, "Almost nothing, Hajime!" Almost nothing... We still have a few people to go but... that's ok!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive any typos and/or grammatical errors, for the moment. It's very very late and I won't be able to proofread it until the morning so, yeah. Thank you for reading!!!


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